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Flat Top Tony and the Purple Canoes

On such a beautiful day, what am I going to do–sit around on the Internets and type about bullshit for an audience of 200? I don’t think so. I’m gonna do the same thing that former Slow Riot (that’s one of my bands, for those not in-the-know) drummer Josh had tattooed on his calf: T.C.B.

Take Care of Business.

I know it’s an awful tattoo, but he was a great drummer.

—-

I awoke and called FedEx to find out what was up with my package. They confirmed that there was a recovery truck on the way to the location to pick up my package and return it to me. Then I called Marmaax Distribution Center and demanded to speak to someone in their receiving department. I’d been given the run-around every day since since Wednesday when I try to find out of the parcel was in their possession. Today I got in touch with someone named Dan (or Dave, I don’t remember. Maybe if his parents had been a bit more unique and named him Moses I wouldn’t have forgotten). He told me his “men” had taken their lunch break–and had brought along return packages to drop off at a shipping location, so maybe my package was in the bunch. I have to call back at 6pm to talk to him again and find out.

I hope one day I’m a big and powerful employer who can refer to his employees as my “men,” or, even better, “henchmen.” How does one even go about acquiring “men”, or even “guys”?

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any more interesting, I took my dogs for a nice long walk because they need the exercise. Although, I don’t know how much exercise they received–the little white dog (what’s-its-name) has bum legs and had to be carried the duration of our journey. It makes me cry just watching her. I’m not gonna like it when she dies.

Then I sat outside and played some guitar and read a book. Look at me! I’m doing things!

By the way–is cutting the new eating-disorder? I’ve been cutting myself a lot lately, and eating more, so I’m pretty sure one is “in” and one is “out” right now. Just kidding, of course, but I’ve been making a lot of “cutter” jokes lately so don’t be surprised if “Big Media” catches on and starts writing more articles about cutters. It was big in high school, which means that scene is probably due for a revival any day now.