You have until Monday at Midnight (12:00am PST Tuesday) to enter the 1st Annual Swan Fungus Holiday Contestâ„¢. Remember, all you have to do to enter is draw a picture of me,…

Ah, December. The final month of the year. It contains the festival of Hanukkah, sometimes! For journalists — and to a lesser extent their retarded cousins, bloggers — December is a time…

Ah, December. The final month of the year. It contains the festival of Hanukkah, sometimes! For journalists — and to a lesser extent their retarded cousins, bloggers — December is a time…

Today is Thanksgiving. Although I consider myself a budding gourmand, I honestly couldn’t care about this holiday for the first twenty-two years of my life. My crippling fear of food (and a…

It happened last night. I decided once and for all that I was going to eat a Casa Bianca pizza, because the recommendation I received was prefaced with the proverbial “best in…

It’s Friday. I left work early. I’m supposed to be preparing “family dinner” tonight, which means I only have an hour to decompress and complete this post before I have to gather…

Researchers from Oxford have compiled a list of the ten most annoying phrases in the English language. Unfortunately its missing some key phrases, including what I believe to be the most annoying…

Ironic that the first e-mail I opened today said (in all caps), “Go to hell you homophobic piece of shit, talking crap about Heath Ledger. You still haven’t gotten over your girlfriend…

I re-write this list pretty much every year. Why? It’s either because I’m super-creative and I’m always coming up with unusual Halloween costumes, or because I’m strapped for blog ideas and I…

Do you enjoy the blues? I enjoy the blues. A lot of hipster douches come into the store and act like “Oh, the blues are in now, I should get hip and…