So, what? Are we going to be hit by a huge asteroid soon? There was a nerd on Conan O’Brien a few weeks ago talking about how comets, asteroids and meteors are all going to kill us in the near future. They might even all hit us at once, said the nerd. He brushed his hair across his greasy forehead, looked into the camera, and told his audience we were going to be swallowed by a black hole, and before that happens, the sun might burn out or explode.
I, for one, don’t believe any of this theoretical science bullshit. I have a hard time taking people who talk about the impending apocalypse because I think they’re mentally deranged. I don’t see the fascination with the year 2012 and the Mayan calendar, I don’t get Bible codes, or mathematical novelty theory. I think the Mayans—whose descendants are decent, hard-working busboys and housekeepers—were not as informed as we are today, which is probably why we all use the Gregorian calendar and not their calendar. I don’t think anything monumental will happen that year. No alien contact, no realization of a higher power, nothing. The odds of that happening any year are the same. It takes a creative, but highly paranoid mind to buy into this garbage, and I think the nerd on Conan O’Brien and his ilk, who make these futuristic apocalyptic predictions, are in need of serious counseling.
I used to listen to the Art Bell show, but I never believed anything I heard from his expert guests. And his callers were all loons. Do you have any idea the number of people who would call in and make predictions on the first episode of each new year? And not a single one ever came true. I’m not saying they will never happen, I’m just saying it won’t happen anytime soon. I think a lot of people feel the need to create tension in their lives. I think they want something monumental to look forward to simply because the know their time is finite, and at least an impending historical event presents something on the horizon. Unfortunately, it will not happen, and life will continue as it always has: generally boring, with lots of work to be done.
Isn’t that right, Mr. Spock?
