if anybody considers themselves a writer, i’d like to pose a question: do you ever feel like you’re constantly writing the same lines? i mean this in the context of a narrative, a poem, or a song. does it ever feel like, whatever your intentions may be, you’re endlessly disappointed by the results?
i often write to dissect my thoughts. i have black composition notebooks filled with writings and little games i play with the english language. i have two pocket-sized rhodia graphing pads for when i’m out of the house and something pops into my head. i have a hard drive full of song lyrics and free-writes, plus countless other notebooks filled with poems. and yet, each time i sit down to read through what i’ve accomplished (which i do about once a month, just to keep it all fresh in my head), i feel like i have tunnel vision on the similarities i find.
the goal of my writing is to relay different currents of ideas that i have. from the most random to frustrations that demand my attention. i want to better understand my own thought process as well as explore what the world has to offer. in a finite space, i’m basically trying to diagram the entire spectrum of human emotion. that’s what i try to convince myself. yet, no matter how many times i look at handwritten notes or computerized text, i feel like i’m reading the same exact line. it’s become a common thread that runs through everything i create. so i wonder, is this a good thing, or a bad thing? i could consider this theme my inspiration and utilize it to it’s fullest potential, or i might consider it the bane of my writing, and a hindrance that prohibits forward progress.
my opinion: perhaps this is a phase where i’m transfixed (that’s another one of those words like “proactive” or “forefront” that makes absolutely no sense) on a certain motif and it is encompassing all my work. if there was too much variety, it might appear haphazard or spastic. at least i have my own style. even if i find flaws in it, i can always aspire to find someone else who might enjoy it.
