it’s hard to escape blogs these days. they’re a rapidly expanding communication tool. the problem is, nobody out there is telling my story. this might be because no one knows me, but it might also be because everyone is too caught up worrying about culture and politics. the purpose of this space is fairly straightforward: as graduation and “the real world” (a phrase popularized by the mtv show of same name) loom in the not-too-distant future, what happens next? i don’t know! once the month of may rolls around, and i leave college with a bachelor of arts clenched in my wretched, deformed claw, where am i going to go? getting a job certainly is not an option.
in high school, the plan seemed so simple: sell-out as quickly as possible, and then spend the rest of my life in luxury, rolling around in piles of cash with beautiful women. well, the time for decisive action is drawing nearer and i still haven’t hatched any unique ideas. this blog is where my great idea will finally be unearthed. also, i vow to never use capital letters.
right now you’re probably asking, “what’s in it for me, asshole?” please, there’s no need for profanity, i’ll be vulgar enough for the both of us. let me assure you valued reader, you will be rewarded for your participation in this experience. i’m not sure exactly how, but i’m a pretty resourceful guy, so i’ll figure it out at some point. for now, just relax and enjoy the ride. your insight and harsh criticism will be of utmost importance. that’s why i’ve added a comments section. comment early and often.
bookmark this blog. tell your friends. together we defy the odds. re-write the script. challenge the norm. pick your cliche! we will succeed! or, we will fail miserably and everyone will laugh at me and i’ll cry and my penis will shrivel in fear. either way, it’ll be a trip.
semper fi.
