Hey, it’s been a week since the design overhaul and most of you are still here. We’ve put up solid numbers this week, averaging almost 800 unique views per day, so clearly the new design isn’t freaking too many people out. Oh, except for those of you who have taken to the comments section and emailed me or told me personally that you don’t like how Swan Fungus looks.
Yeah, that’s right. Apparently none of you like the way this page looks now. For years all I heard about was how there wasn’t enough media on my blog, and how blogs were supposed to have pictures and be colorful and cool. So for once in my life I listened to what other people said, and I still can’t make anybody happy. There are pictures now. I think it looks awesome. I think it’s easy to navigate (unless you’re using the search function and want to see more than just six or seven results). I like the color schemes, and the slider bar, and the lack of text jumping off the screen. Two advertisements in the sidebar, some neat crap in the footer, it’s clean and easy. I don’t give a shit if you guys don’t like it, I do. This is my therapy, and I’ll share it with the world however I feel like, you dig?
That said, here are some of the better comments that have been left for me to read on the blog, sent directly through email, or in casual conversation with friends.
The Top Ten Reader Comments Regarding The Swan Fungus Redesign
10. “New design sucks cock. Where are the MP3 [sic]? Thanks!!!!”: Timmy McTimmerson – Leave it to Swan Fungus readers to not know that MP3 the is singular form of the media format. You know who really sucks cock? People who have bad grammar.
09. “this 100% looks like an april fools joke.”: Michael – Except it’s the middle of March, asshole. And it’s not a joke. Either suck it up and learn to love the design or stop coming here. For every Michael who decides he can’t handle looking at a website that doesn’t have words jumping off the page at him, there are ten Georges and Seans that are excited to be reading a blog that actually looks somewhat professional.
08. “i just found out about htis [sic] post because i realized there are more than one post in the top header thing. way to confuse readers and hide the content from them”: Anonymous – Jesus Christ, asshole. Allow the page to load before you start clicking around and maybe you’ll actually see that there’s more than one post in the header. Are you that retarded? And if so, why are you here?
07. “actually, the main page honestly now looks like one of those sites that pop-up on your screen when you follow a bad link. all for clicks. goodbye.”: Michael – Are you fucking serious? Those link farm websites look nothing like this. This looks like a website. The old version of the blog looks like something I cooked up in my father’s basement. Which is exactly what happened. And I was really high at the time, and probably drunk on red wine. And Ken was there. And afterwards we probably both looked at each other and said, “This doesn’t look any different.” Now it’s like 4 years later and, surprise, there was Ken standing next to me when the new design went live, and this time he said, “Can we just take a shot already and do something else?” So fuck you, Michael.
06. “It’s too hard to read.”: Lisa – I know, Lisa. I’m working on it. I love you. Please don’t give up on me.
05. “It seems a bit clunky, which is to be expected. And not entirely easy to navigate.”: Ian – That’s right. Clunky is to be expected. Whatever that means. I know the navigation is screwed up. I’m trying to fix it but I don’t really understand the ins and outs of web design. It’s still a work in progress. Go buy some Ess-A-Bagel and chill out, it’ll be fixed by the time I come back home in July.
04. “The DONATE button is all off-looking. You need to find a bigger one or fix the pixelation. Also, is that your face in the background I saw on another post? That’s awesome/scary.”: Lawdrone – Thanks Bennett. You pointed something out, I fixed it, and then you complimented me. Did I ever send you that t-shirt with my face on it like I promised? I have money in my PayPal account now so I can pay for postage if I forgot. I love you, man. Stay classy.
03. “what the fuck? what are you trying to be rolling stone? stop fucking around and change this shitty design back.”: will – Yes, I’m trying to be Rolling Stone. Because Rolling Stone often throws the word “cunt” around like it’s common parlance. And Rolling Stone fake-stalks Reality TV celebrities all the time. And Rolling Stone writes about good music. Ha!
02. “I don’t like the new modern slick funky design. I like the old shitty design. The old shitty design that looked like it was designed by a 97 year old grandmother who’d just learn [sic] to turn on her pc. I liked that one. This is like millions of other sites. You should have asked my advice before doing this. Too late now, fool.”: Brian McFadden – Maybe if you didn’t sit around clicking the refresh button on your browser waiting for a new post to comment on, and you actually gave me your contact information, I would ask for your advice, you blow off. Instead you have to prance about like a fairy telling me everything I do sucks, and at this point I’m just ignoring half the things you say. So change up your act or shut your mouth. I really don’t care which, just choose one.
01. “What’s with all this dumb shit? This place looks like crap now. Oh well. Suppose I’ll get used to it.”: Dave – Amen, Dave. It looks like crap now. But you “suppose [you’ll] get used to it.” Fucking right. All of you need to take Dave’s advice and learn to accept that things are different around here now, and the content is not going to change. Just the design is going to change. So fuck off and let me be, alright? Thanks a lot, you idiots.
