Has it been a week? A month? Jesus. This self-distancing, stay-at-home thing really is fucking with my perception of time.
Psychologically speaking, today was a better day than yesterday. I haven’t had any panic attacks yet, and it’s 9:22 pm now. I’m writing this post while waiting for the new episode of Top Chef to come on, with a full-on “work happy hour” Zoom meeting going on behind me. Actually, now that I think about it, today hasn’t been totally normal. I awoke with a start at 4 am this morning, my heart was racing and once I realized I was awake I started to feel warm and flushed. It took about five minutes of semi-alertness before I realized I was awake and freaking out. I couldn’t fall asleep until shortly after 6 am. So…when I said “today was a better day than yesterday,” what I mean is from the time my alarm sounded at 9:15 am up until right now it’s been fine, so long as you disregard the two sleepless hours early this morning.
Today was another one where I didn’t really have too much to do. I fielded one work-related call, but beyond that, it was mostly cleaning and cooking and writing. After finishing off the last of the BBQ pulled chicken for lunch, I went on a nice long walk around the neighborhood. In between writing and researching an upcoming mixtape, I called both of my parents to check in on them. Shockingly (but not surprisingly) they’re both getting out way more than I am these days. Dad went to the local Italian restaurant to pick up dinner tonight, and mom goes for walks around her development every day. It’d be nice if there was someone to basically chain them to their couches so they couldn’t go outside. Alas, my sister is currently quarantined after apparently coming in contact with infected people in her sphere twice during the past week. I Facetime’d her this evening and she appeared in good spirits while — I think — she told me she was tested for the second time today. Meanwhile, she’s vaping away, appearing asymptomatic other than a nagging cough she’s apparently had for a week or more. I should be terrified by all this. The vaping is kind of dumbfounding, though. I hope this most recent test comes back negative.
Dinner tonight was sirloin strip steak with mashed potatoes and sauteed asparagus. I seared the steak in a cast-iron skillet before finishing it in the oven. The mashed potatoes were super basic, peeled and boiled before blending with soy milk and butter. The asparagus was the same recipe I used last week, which uses butter, garlic, basil, oregano, thyme, a bunch of other herbs and spices, and salt and pepper.
Unfortunately, when I cook steak for two I have to cook it medium to medium-well for my dining companion, which usually results in my completely fucking up any attempt to cook a steak medium-rare (or rare plus) for myself. One thing I’m learning during this quarantine ordeal is that I’m very ADD in the kitchen, and have a hard time wrapping my brain around what’s going on when I have more than one dish cooking at a time. I was pretty much on top of this meal, but it was super stressful when I had potatoes boiling, steak searing and butter melting for the asparagus all at the same time. At one point I was blending the potatoes, watching the steak in the oven and sauteeing all at the same time. The steak was too well done — but edible — so if only one out of three things went wrong I consider the meal a success.
Tomorrow I have to wait around for a package to be delivered, and then I should be able to relax like it’s a normal weekend. We’ll see. Nothing seems “normal” right now.
Stay healthy and stay safe.
