It’s nice to see that I’m still capable of stirring debate with my enlightened blog posts. Yesterday’s claim that Amoeba does not sell 2,000 vinyl records a day appears to have struck a nerve, as several people have reported that statistic to be true. Unfortunately for Amoeba’s ardent supporters, the numbers don’t appear to be in their favor. Last year’s SoundScan report stated that 2.7 million vinyl LP/EPs were sold in the United States. And if Amoeba sells 2,000 a day, why, that would mean one store in Hollywood accounts for almost 30% of all vinyl sales. Don’t get me started on the new/used numbers issue, either. I’m in that store every week looking for bargains and I don’t see a lot of movement from those shelves. I’ll get to the bottom of this issue, trust me. I have my ways.
In honor of this bogus claim, I’m devoting today’s post to other societal irritants. Amoeba’s EOD reports withstanding, here are five annoying things:
1. Jim Griffin, A consultant for one of the four major record labels (Warner Music) has proposed blanket licenses for music. In his plan, consumers would play royalties into a pot (as an extra monthly fee to their ISPs) and would then have access to music from any participating label. This is dumb for a variety of reasons, the most obvious of which is that it’s redundant. People who illegally download music often like to think that they are getting music for free. They neglect to realize that paying for a computer, paying an ISP for an Internet connection, and paying for blank CDs or an iPod is negating the fact that they don’t spend money on actual CDs. To add an additional tax (sorry, “fee”) onto one’s cable/DSL/FiOs bill isn’t going to make a bit of difference, because those users are already paying their Internet providers for the ability to download as much music as they want, and most ISPs are already owned by parent companies who are already involved in the music industry (I’m thinking of Time Warner specifically). Problem not solved. A patently absurd idea from a guy who doesn’t have a clue.
2. Nintendo Wii still doesn’t have a wireless headset for online play. Listen, when I want to play Mario Kart online as the Mii character Pat created (named “eat me out”), I want the ability to verbally abuse my competitors. Isn’t that what’s so great about online play? Oh, the endless trash-talking possibilities that we might explore! I always imagined that when I bought my Xbox 360 that I would ridicule my pathetic opponents as I crushed them all at MLB 2k7, the only game I ever purchased. Then I turned on the Xbox Live feature and played one game online. My opponent was an eleven year old kid from some red state in the middle of the country. It made me sick to beat up on him, so I sold my Xbox. I guess I don’t know why I’m annoyed that there isn’t a Wii headset yet, because I know I’ll just be disappointed when they create one, but somehow I remain optimistic that it might somehow be the best gaming invention ever.
3. Ian, Zlotsky, Jodi, and a few other folks I know did not get to perform Rhys Chatham’s Crimson Grail for 200 Electric Guitars (Outdoor Version) last Friday night. The event, which was to be held at Lincoln Center in New York City, was cancelled due to rain. Brooklyn Vegan ran a short preview, which included a picture of Ian’s amplifier (but not Ian). Ash Ra Tempel gutarist Manuel Gottshing performed his E2-E4 composition, but somehow the weather turned sour at just the right time so as to prevent the 200 guitarists from performing. Ian forwarded me one of the apology notes he received from Chatham’s manager. She swears the event will happen in the future, but could not determine when that might be. As for me, I get to see Gottsching next year at UCLA, but I wish I could see Z and Ian performing with 198 other nerds. Hell, I wish I could be performing with them.
4. Russell Crowe might play Bill Hicks in a biopic about one of the greatest comedians of all time. Ugh.
5. As I was recounting to somebody from Columbus, Ohio how much I loved driving to Louisville because I could stop in Columbus to visit the original Wendy’s hamburger stand, I was informed that they tore it down. WHAT THE FUCK. I mean, I haven’t eaten Wendy’s since the last time I was in Columbus (2006), but that doesn’t mean I should have to feel sour every time I want to get nostalgic about how cool it was to visit the first Wendy’s. That’s a bunch of bullshit. Can anybody confirm or deny this? Is the original Wendy’s still standing or did they actually close it and tear it down. Because if they did, that’s bullshit. They (and by “they” I guess I mean the powers that be) might as well just rape Dave Thomas’ family and take a big shit on his grave. Bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
