The Distinguished Gourmand: Rosaline

Of course I was the first to arrive. I’m always the first to arrive. Also, Jesus Christ, was I already drunk and taking blurry photos before being shown to our table? Sorry in advance for the several food porn fails you’re going to see during this recap. It’s likely I was filled with nervous anticipation about leaving for Vegas the morning after this meal and I was trying to practice my drunk photography. This is Jab To The Jaw, a cactus pear and strawberry brandy drink with Chinese five spice, lemon, oregat, and fermented fruit. It was decidedly peppery and had great mounting heat to it. I highly recommend this libation. I also tried the Chicha (corn chewed on-site!) and the Pisco Sour, but Jab To The Jaw was my favorite.

Tiradito de Corvina Ceviche (Ensenada Sea Bass, Amazonian Charapita Chili, Tamari Yuzu Walnut Dressing) – Our first of three ceviches was outstanding. The ceviche menu is on the back of the cocktails menu, and I could very easily see myself returning for happy hour for a cocktail or two and some ceviche. They are good enough on their own to warrant a trip to Rosaline. Around this time Nate decided to “go to the bathroom,” which really meant he was letting our server know that it was Ben’s birthday. I think half the table excused itself at one point or another to remind our server about Ben’s birthday. Oh well.

Causa Jar (Eggplant Terrine, Potato Mousse, Avocado, Botija Olive Aioli) – Imagine you live in a world where I’m not a terrible photographer of food. Then “ooh” and “ahh” over my stunning captures of the beautiful dishes we were served at Rosaline. Because my visuals are NOT delivering on the wonders of the plating and preparation. Since I was in charge of ordering our meal (an honor bestowed upon me most likely because everyone else was rushing to drink their cocktails and talk to Ben) I told our waiter “One of everything” from the small plates menu. The causa (which was always a stand-out at Mo Chica and Picca) was probably my least favorite dish of the night.

Ceviche Crocante (Halibut, Crispy Baby Calamari, Yuzu Kosho Marinated, Aji Amarillo Leche de Tigre) – Hot damn was this good! With the meal off to a great start, Nate made sure to tell everyone that he was positive Ricardo was going to visit our table at some point during the meal. I believe Nate dropped his name and the TV show he works for when making the reservation (on which Ricardo appeared). Ricardo did not visit our table. Nice try Nate. You flexed your muscles and this  happened.

Aceitunas (Marinated Spicy Peruvian Olives, Eggplant Puree, Cancha Corn, Turmeric Flat Bread) – I’m not a big fan of olives so I only took a small bite of this dish. It appeared to be very well received by everyone else in the group. I imagine this was when I took the opportunity to order a glass of Tempranillo, which was delightful.

Pan Andino (Quinoa bread, Rocoto Pepper Butter, Aguaymanto Jam, Botija Olive Spread) – Another small plate I probably would not have ordered on my own, I only tried the pepper butter, and it was pleasant. Around this time Mark and David announced their impending trip to Japan. “Are you going to visit the suicide forest?” Someone without a sense of humor asked. It wasn’t me. Honest.

Chicharron De Paiche (Popped Kiwicha, Fried Amazonian Paiche, Yuzu Aioli Sauce) – This was somewhat bland, so you had to get a strong swipe through the sauce to add some flavor to the fish. Texturally it was nice, but compared to the other fish-centric small plate it paled. Nate’s camera flash was being incredibly obnoxious at the time. In hindsight I wish I’d used my flash more. Maybe these photos wouldn’t be garbage if I’d flashed ’em up a bit.

Pimentones (padron peppers, ciruela amarillo miso, bonito flakes) – If you cross your eyes and stare at the center of this photo a much clearer picture will become visible. With several dishes arriving in rapid succession we began to take stock of our meal. The halibut ceviche was revealed to be our favorite dish so far. So proud of our unanimous choice, were we, that another round of drinks were ordered. If you decide to go with the Pisco Sour, be prepared to learn about a Peruvian custom you most follow before taking your first sip.

Kampachi Ceviche (Baja California Amberjack, Aji Pesto, Charcoal Oven Roasted Sweet Potato, Aji Limo Lime Dressing) – Our final ceviche of the night was quite good as well. I would have never thought to pair amberjack with sweet potatoes, but then again I’m barely capable of writing about food, let alone conceptualizing and executing a single dish on my own. As far as I know, if you can stick a beer can in an animal’s orifice you can roast it. Vegetables? I know very little about vegetables.

Corazon Anticucho (Beef Heart Skewers, Rustic Rocoto Pepper, Feta Cheese, Walnut Sauce) – The beef heart skewers were, I believe, a holdover from the Picca menu. Of course I made a Captain Beefheart  Troust Mask Replica joke that nobody at the table understood. Nearly halfway through our meal, I asked Ben if he was enjoying himself. His answer was that “All the food is so good.” That’s all well and good, but what about the company? “What about the company, Ben?” I whispered, shaking my fist, as a solitary tear drop rolled down my cheek.

Causita Crocante (Crispy Potatoes, Salted Cod, Seasonal Pickles, Wasabi Dijon Mustard Sauce) – I loved the presentation here. What whimsy! We don’t get nearly this much whimsy at Dinner Club. Well, maybe the pillowcase pasta thing from Rossoblu counts. Let’ see…what else did we discuss around these dishes? Oh, Mark snidely joked that I know what Chicha is but I don’t know what tarragon is. Maryn learned about the Pisco Sour tradition. We took a time-out for our first table-wide “Cheers!” and — at least in my corner of the table — there was a lot of discussion between Amanda, Mark and David about our server.

Juane De Chancho (Pork Ossobuco, Adobo, Garbanzo Soft Tamale, Hardboiled Egg, Wrapped In Banana Leaf) – Our first family style large plate was the pork ossobuco. Wait, was this when Mark made fun of me for not knowing what tarragon is? My Dinner Club minutes are all screwed up. I much prefer Dinner Club when I’m not the one taking notes the entire meal. I feel like I can’t enjoy the food because I have to listen to what everyone is saying. I can’t even remember what this pork tasted like! Porky? Where was the hardboiled egg? I don’t recall seeing it. I must have been busy typing a note as useless to this review as “9:11 Amanda ‘It’s like a se–‘ dies from the spice from the ceviche.” What does that even mean? Sigh.

Lomo Saltado (Sautéed Filet Mignon, Roasted Tomatoes, Braised Cipollini, Sunny Side Egg, Kimlan Soy Dressing, Tomato Coulis) – I fucking love Lomo Saltado. I don’t care that our unnervingly handsome server didn’t recommend it as one of his favorite dishes, I basically bullied everyone into ordering it. It was decidedly not the same Lomo Saltado I remember from Mo Chica, but it was still good! A little heavy on the soy dressing, but still tasty AF, as the kids say. Do kids use expressions like “tasty AF?” Or are they more about to say shit like, “I’m hungover AF” or “That nebbishy lookin’ food blogger piece of shit over there looks neurotic AF.”

Chaufa Paella (Peruvian Fried Rice Paella-Style, Pancetta, La Chang Sausage, Bagoong, Prawns) – Of course when someone first suggested paella I instinctively said, “Ew.” Remember: I’m still relatively new to this whole food thing. I spent the first 24 years of my life terrified of it, and the last ten trying to make up for lost time. You can’t blame me for having never tasted good paella before. That said, this was by far the highlight of the meal for me. As is tradition, David was tasked with portioning the dish for everyone else at the table. He did a masterful job. While everyone else was distracted I continued scraping the crispy burnt rice bits from the bottom of the pan. So, so good. Someone pointed out to Nate at this point that Ricardo had still not visited our table.

Arroz Con Mariscos (Sea Urchin, Diver Scallops, Tiger Prawns, Manila Clams, Seafood Rice) – Our final savory dish of the evening was the Nate-suggested “fish dish.” Who gets credit for Nate choosing Rosaline, by the way? An argument ensued. Someone remarked at this point that “I want to eat everything out of a bowl.” It seemed very profound at the time, but now I’m not so sure. Also around this time people started looking to me to plan a Dinner Club in Las Vegas. I don’t know why I was tasked with such an impractical (and improbable) feat. Maybe these “friends” of mine suggested it because they knew it would fail, and might lead to the end of Dinner Club once and for all. Like Beast, and Lumiere, and Mrs. Potts, and the clock…the end of Dinner Club would finally break this spell I cast on them to help me generate content for my blog.

bon bon bons! // ice cream & sorbet trio (lucuma ice cream, chocolate ice cream, strawberry huacatay mint sorbet // all dipped in peruvian illanka chocolate) – That’s a mouthful. Literally. Also, maybe I should make Kelie the official Dinner Club photographer. This one photo is at least 50 times better than any I took during the meal. As is tradition, we went around the table giving thanks. My speech this time was some rambling thing about friends near and far who I hope are as happy as I am in this moment, to which Amanda mocked me by asking if I was going to cry. Between Mark and Amanda’s barbs, clearly it has become Dinner Club tradition to mock and deride me at every opportunity.

Finally, after countless trips to the bathroom, Ben’s birthday cake arrived. He seemed surprised. He even waved off the the server as he approached, candle burning, table erupting  into an ear-piercing, off-key rendition of the Happy Birthday song. Was it the absolute highlight of Ben’s entire trip to Los Angeles? I’m not Ben (and I never will be, Nate!) but I can safely say “Yes, it was.” I have no idea what he did the majority of his vacation, but nothing can top having me sing happy birthday to you. Got it, Ben? DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT REFUTING THIS.

Chancay Con Leche (Goat’s Milk Manjar Blanco, Coconut Milk, Maracuya Guava Frozen Yogurt, Torched Meringue, Harry’s Berries Strawberries) – This was the cake we were served. I could literally see Amanda’s skin crawling as I commented — repeatedly — about how sopping wet and moist the cake was. Nate was probably still finishing his toast but I don’t remember a word he said because I was so enraptured by the divinely moist, sopping wet cake.