The Distinguished Gourmand: Rossoblu

Sogni D’oro (Four Roses Bourbon, Prosecco, Cream, Honey, Club Soda) – The “Golden Dreams” looked incredibly enticing for its combination of bourbon and Prosecco, and it did not disappoint. I was able to also taste the Veni Vidi Imbibi (which had a nice Rye/Salted caramel thing going on) and Casanova’s Cup (a vodka drink), and I definitely made the right choice. Such a great way to start the meal. Speaking of which, Amanda and Maryn were ten minutes late. This marked the first Dinner Club meeting… ever (?) where I wasn’t the first person to arrive. By the time I got to Rossoblu David, Kelie and Nate were all patiently waiting.

Braised Pork Meatballs (Tomato, Grilled Polenta, Bread) – David brought a German Gruner wine along with him to start the meal. The somm I think was making fun of us when she commented that she loved a good screw top wine. Then she joked about bringing a German wine into an Italian restaurant. Geez lady, keep your disgust with us to yourself! Much like the pork meatballs I consumed recently at Felix, I was slightly underwhelmed by these guys. In fact I thought the tastiest element on the plate was actually the toasted bread. It was just soft enough to sweep up whatever remnants remained on the plate after everyone grabbed their balls.

Prosciutto E Melone (30-month Parma/Prosciutto, Heriloom Melon) – When this dish arrived, someone remarked “Oh, it’s literally prosciutto and melon. And while the Parma was delicious, I really wanted something else to tie the two ingredients together. Maybe some mozzarella di bufala? Just a thought… maybe for when I open my own Italian restaurant: Evan’s Joint. That sounds perfect Italian, right? Oh, around this time the server stopped by to tell us they were out of pork shoulder for the night. Did we just want the leg and the ribs? We asked if we could substitute the head for the shoulder. He looked confused, but consented. We didn’t realize why until much later in the meal…

Nonna’s Tagliatelle al Ragu’ Bolognese (Beef, Pork, Not Too Much Tomato Sauce) – I grew up without a Nonna. I had a Mema, but never a Nonna. I don’t think Mema ever cooked for me, either. She gave me a lot of little bags of M&Ms though, and always had super-generic cereals like Cheerios, Corn Flakes and Cracklin’ Oat Bran for me. I thought this pasta dish and then one that was served alongside it were two of the best dishes of the night. Honestly, I would have been more than happy to just order every pasta on the menu. Someday…

Pappardelle Verdi (Spinach Pasta, Sausage Ragu, Ricotta Crema) – I loved, loved, loved this dish. The pasta was cooked perfectly, it had great texture and was the perfect compliment to the ragu. Seriously good. Around this time we decided — for no reason whatsoever — to go around the table and namecheck our favorite items on Porto’s menu. Everyone what aghast when I mentioned I’d never had any of their baked goods. For me, it’s potato balls or nothing.

Mom’s Minestra Nel Sacco (Parmigiano Reggiano Dumplings in a Bag, Beef and Chicken Broth) – Again, it’s worth stating that I am not Italian. I’ve never been served food in a cloth bag or pillowcase before. I think one time I went to a Passover Seder where we played hide-and-seek with some Matzo that was wrapped in table napkin, but that’s about the closest I’ve come to something like this. A new, older male server made a big deal about the presentation of the bag. Nate and I immediately decided we wanted him to introduce and describe the rest of the meal because he had the most adorable lisp ever. Anyway, I was really impressed by these Afikomen-style Italian dumplings. Super cheesy.

Tortellini In Brodo (Pork, Chicken, Mortadella, Prosciutto Di Parma, Parmigiano Reggiano, Beef And Chicken Broth) – These tortellini were damned good, too. Perfect little hits of parmigiano and pork in every bite. Right around this time someone at the table, Amanda I think, announced that she’d never been to “Bing Bang Boom” before (somehow she thought that was the name of Din Tai Fung). Almost everyone at the table immediately decided we should go there for Saturday brunch this weekend. Think about it: two Dinner Club meetings in two days! Imagine the (wait for it) pasta-bilities! See what I did there? Ok, sorry. I’ll show myself the door.

Nebbiolo (wine) – David brought along a lovely white wine from home to pair with the first several dishes of the night. When the secondi were starting to arrive we decided to switch to red. I was tasked with finding a suitable pairing for the soon-to-be pork-filled table, and this fruity little devil played rather well alongside the fatty, piggy plates that followed.

Whole Grilled Orata (Lemon, Arugula) – Gotta be honest here, the server suggested we get the Orata as a counterpart to the Suckling Pig, and I can’t think of a single person at the table who thought it was good. For some reason Amanda tried to basically cut the fish’s head off, and wound up with a mouthful of bones. I pulled from the belly and while I did not think it was revelatory, I didn’t necessarily hate it either. I appreciated the simplicity of the plate and under the right circumstances could have enjoyed it much more. I’m thinking if I was not doing the family style thing, and maybe had a side dish with contrasting flavors (coal-roasted veggies?). Then again, what the fuck do I know?

Suckling Pig Head (Pick Your Part) – As previously stated, we did not intend to order the head. Even if Kelie and I joked about it at the start of the meal, I would have been happy with just the combination of leg, shoulder and ribs. Alas, they were out of shoulder so we opted for head, leg and ribs. By the way, even for six people that is WAY too much suckling pig. Everyone spent several minutes photographing the head before David offered to carve it up for us. A couple minutes later as he handed me some jowl someone joked, “Look, David’s giving Evan head!” Somewhere, someone chuckled. The head, by the way, was not nearly as good as the roasted pig’s head from Au Pied de Cochon. This one was kind of a fried mess. Oh well.

Suckling Pig Ribs (Pick Your Part) – I carved the ribs for everyone at the table, and they tasted much better than the head. Thank God for the course salt accompanying the plate. It’s really, really porky. In fact all three pig parts we consumed were incredibly strong. Nate at some point groaned (like a gutshot soldier slowly dying) “What I wouldn’t give for something green right now. Asparagus. Sprouts. Anything!”

Suckling Pig Leg (Pick Your Part) – By the time the leg arrived we were all pretty much dead. How the fuck can anyone eat this much pig in one sitting? Why on earth did we order this much? IS THIS WHY THE SERVER WAS SO CONFUSED EARLIER? What the fuck happened to us? Were we so jazzed by the pastas we forgot to better-scrutinize the secondi section of the menu? I would have been fine with, like, the leg and maybe a chicken dish. But three pig parts? Jesus Christ are we trying to give ourselves heart disease? (short answer: maybe?)

Patatine Montanare (Crisp Fingerlings, Rosemary, Sage, Salamoia, Aged Balsamic) – Amidst all the pig parts flying around the table like body parts on the beach at Normandy, nobody seemed to notice the potatoes. I quite enjoyed them. Although, in hindsight, I would have much rather seen some vegetables on the table at this point.

Nectarine Mascarpone / Fior di Latte With Aged Balsamic (Gelati & Sorbetto) / Torta di Riso (Caramel Baked Rice Pudding, Ivoire Crema, Dapper Dandy Pluots) – When our server arrived to ask our dessert order we were all dead. As he pulled his wheelbarrow holding our corpses through the town square (aka Skid Row), our server sang of our bravery, and our naïveté. The townsfolk raised a monument to honor the pig that felled us. For some stupid reason these desserts were set on our table. I think the server recommended the rice pudding (don’t order the rice pudding). I drunkenly commented, “There’s a texture I’m not quite sure of here,” and everyone had a great laugh trying to define the texture I was searching for. Nate’s offhand “It’s aged rat” made me laugh the hardest. The Fior di Latte with Aged Balsamic was great.

Espresso Martini (Espresso, Martini) – We all decided on aperitifs because we forgot to go around the table saying what we’re thankful for (a Dinner Club tradition). Maryn and I opted for a glass of porto. David asked if they could make an espresso martini. Guys, the espresso martini is most assuredly NOT on the drink menu at Rossoblu, but you absolutely HAVE to order it. Holy shit, was it amazing. As we went around the table stating what we’re thankful for, I noticed that the entire room was pretty much empty. It was 10:40pm on a Thursday night and we were just getting our party started.