So I just got another friend to install Evil Apples on her iPhone, and I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time coaching her on gameplay and theory today. Just kidding. I’m mostly telling her to save up her coins until she’s close to winning and then hit everyone with the darkest, sickest, cruelest card she can imagine. You gotta train chicks, you know? Otherwise who will?
Spending so much time hovering over my phone got me thinking: I really don’t have a lot of apps on this thing, do I? That’s a shame. It seems like that’s the whole point of having a smart phone, right? The apps? I mean…I guess there are some I use regularly. But not a lot.
Perfect Friday Top Ten List fodder:
Ten iPhone Apps I Unconditionally Endorse
Honorable Mention: M Life – Aside from the fact that M Life has one of the worst customer support services I’ve ever encountered, their iPhone app is the best way to keep up with my comps and special offers from various Las Vegas resorts. Without it, I wouldn’t have gotten a sick deal on a suite this month ($67 a night for a 900-square foot suite with a whirlpool tub in the bedroom!?), and I wouldn’t know when all my accrued earnings expire. For someone who likes to drink and gamble as much as I do, it’s also an invaluable tool for keeping up with how much money I’ve lost during my excursions. I can’t help but wince every time I look at that win/loss statement. Thanks, M Life.
10. Lovely – Earlier this year I was looking to move out from the place I’ve lived for the past two years. I was fed up with certain roommates, I could afford something a bit nicer, and I was self-conscious about bringing chicks back to a tiny room in a four-bedroom house where all kinds of weird shenanigans could occur at any given time. I signed up for Westside Rentals. I used Walkscore and Padmapper. Then I read about Lovely on LifeHacker and it completely changed how I hunted for apartments. It became my go-to source when I saw vacancy/rental signs in my travels around town, or when I was in a nice neighborhood and thought, “I wonder if there’s anything for rent around here?” Granted, I didn’t end up moving, but it was an awesome tool and I recommend it to everyone I know who is trying to move. If I’ve told 5 people about it, all 5 have come back and thanked me profusely.
09. Yelp – There was a good 18 months when I’d given up on the Yelp app. Even after I’d been given an “Elite” badge, I stopped using it to check into businesses and write reviews because — and this is going to sound totally self-centered — I didn’t want certain people who were following me on the site knowing my whereabouts. I didn’t want them to know if I’d tried a new restaurant, or found a hidden gem somewhere. There was a period of 6 months when I’d go to eat somewhere and the next night, or the next week, this one person would find her way there. It was really creepy. I eventually found out you can block people from seeing where you are/where you’ve been/what you’ve bookmarked for later, and once that discovery was made I rekindled my love affair. I don’t know what I’d do without this app. It should definitely be ranked higher than this for the frequency with which I use it (and because I’m an “Elite” I feel like I owe them something in return) but it’s not. I don’t know why. Shut up and keep reading.
08. HypeM – Ordinarily I’d try not to put paid apps on this list, but HypeM is too important. I’m not gonna lie, I owe any success this blog has ever had to Anthony and Zoya and whoever else was around when their website launched. Anthony was super generous about promoting Swan Fungus and convinced me that posting MP3s every day would introduce me to a whole new audience. A few years later they wrote a little blog entry called “Top 10 Music Blogs You Haven’t Heard (Or Read)” which STILL brings in new visitors every day. I know I bring this up every single time I mention the Hype Machine, but meeting Anthony outside a Godspeed You Black Emperor show in Brooklyn 10 years ago and giving him my extra ticket turned out to be quite the investment for me. Go get his app right now. It’s the best $3.99 you can spend on a music app.
07. MOG – The difference between HypeM and MOG is that on one you can stream 16 million songs across thousands of albums, and one is constantly being updated with new songs you can stream. When I’m in my car (and in LA, that’s quite often) I find myself listening more to albums than songs, so in that regard I have to give this app the edge over HypeM. But when it comes to discovering new music? HypeM can’t be beat.
06. Waze – Remember last year when all the buzz was about whether Apple Maps or Google Maps was better? I wasn’t even listening to that debate because I was on Waze, having the best fucking time of my life without any weird issues or complications whatsoever. It’s incredible, I’ve never gotten lost, and the social aspect makes it far and away the best driving experience you can get from any phone GPS app. The frequency and accuracy of updates about traffic, accidents and alternate routes is unparalleled. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without Waze at this point. It’s Sig-Alert and Twitter and GPS driving directions all in one. A+. Ten fucking stars.
05. OpenTable – It takes a bit of creative thinking to see it, but when I first realized I’m actually getting PAID to use this app to make dinner reservations it was a life-changing epiphany. I’m over halfway to a $50 check that can be used at ANY restaurant who offers OpenTable reservations. I imagine within the next year I’ll be closing in on a $100 check. That’s, like, a free dinner for two at some SOLID eateries in town. And for what? Letting a restaurant know I intend to eat there? That’s something I’d do anyway 9 times out of 10. It doesn’t cost anything to download or to use, but the rewards make it totally worthwhile.
04. World Of Ice And Fire – Nerd alert. I have less than ten friends who have read the first five books in George R.R. Martin’s “A Song Of Ice And Fire” series. And yet, this app has come in handy more times than I can count. It’s settled many debates. It’s helped me through conversations with people whose memories are better than mine. And, you know, once in a while you’re bored reading r/asoiaf on your phone and it’s easier to launch the WOIAF app than it would be to search the web for A Wiki Of Ice And Fire or Tower Of The Hand. It’s good for people who are still making their way through the books too because you can initially set what “level” you’re on (aka how many books you’ve read) and the app won’t spoil anything for you. Pretty cool, right!?
03. Catan – I have very few games on my iPhone. I downloaded Wolfenstein and Sim City back in 2007 or 2008 so whenever I get a new phone they’re somehow sync’d in, but I don’t play them. I have Words With Friends but no friends (okay, I have two friends, whatever). I have Scramble but only one person to play with and she beat me so bad in our first game that I don’t think she even wants to offer me a rematch. So at least there’s Catan, which I can play against different skilled AI players. If you don’t know what Catan is, you’re missing out — it’s the digital version of the best board game since Monopoly. And for $4.99 it’s actually a steal.
02. Evil Apples – This has been the biggest time-waster for me during the past week since I discovered it via a thread on the Electrical Audio forum. For all intents and purposes it’s Cards Against Humanity for the iPhone, and you can play either against people in your local geographic area OR you can invite friends anywhere in the world to play against you. I’m in three intense games right now. The last round I played was one where the Question Card read: “_______ is funny, but not FUNNY.” Out of five players, the Answer Cards that my sister will be judging say: “Shitting in someone’s mouth”, “9/11”, “Bert & Ernie’s Homosexual Relationship” and “Both kinds of ass play.” Yeah, it’s that kind of game. It’s amazing.
01. Untappd – Oh man, where would I be without this!? You guys know that for the past…6 years I’ve maintained a goal where I want to try five new beers every month. That means a minimum of 70 new beers each year, or a minimum of 420 over the past six years. Since downloading Untappd in October of 2011 I’ve been sober enough to add 276 unique beers to my resume. That’s an average of 13 new beers each month over the last 21 months. And God knows how many I’ve…uh…”forgotten” in the wee hours of my regular drinking adventures. That average-per-month would be way higher too if I actually used Untappd BEFORE ordering to make sure I have/have not tried a particular beer. At least 41 times I’ve “checked-in” to a beer it’s been one I’ve consumed before. And sometimes I get mad at myself for paying $6 or $7 for a pint of something I’ve already tasted, so I refuse to input it. For a beer lover (read: snob) and a semi-functional alcoholic like me, it’s easily the best iPhone app out there. Thanks, Untappd. I love you.
Arp – High-Heeled Clouds [MP3]
