In case you were wondering, I’m in Jersey for a wedding. Oh, you weren’t wondering? Okay, I’ll shut up then and leave the rest of this post blank.
The thing is, the wedding festivities kick off on Saturday, which is the first opportunity I’ll have to explore on my own with a vehicle. Until that time, my mobility is manacled to mother, father and sister, and whether or not they are available to take me somewhere.
So, yesterday, for example, I woke up at noon (I had to sleep upon arriving at my mom’s place, as the redeye proved to be just that thanks to the endless crying baby sitting in my row). Then I went on a little eight-mile run. Only having run around my town once or twice before, I never realized how hill-y it is. It seemed like every turn down every street lead me further uphill. I was actually starting to feel bad about my poor time (8:22 per mile) until I saw the difference in elevation between this little suburb of New Jersey and the city of Los Angeles. I would have assumed LA offered much larger elevation gains than the swamplands I call home, but I would be wrong. It took me 17 miles to reach a total elevation gain of 400 feet in LA last weekend, but not even half that distance to reach a 211 foot elevation gain in New Jersey! No wonder my miles-per-hour slows down on the East Coast.
After my run, my mother let me drive (sigh) to visit my father at his office. I stayed there for a few minutes, caught up with him, and then returned her vehicle to her domicile. I got yelled at for bringing the car keys in the house. “We keep the car keys in the car when we park it in the garage,” she told me, like I was some kind of alien who just arrived on Earth with no notion of proper etiquette. Then she drove my sister and I to a very good dinner at a nearby restaurant called the Huntley Taverne, which I’ll probably review in the near future. There was a trio of pork appetizer and a truffled macaroni and cheese side dish, so you can imagine how good it was.
Afterwards my sister and I watched a movie and stayed in, as we were both tired (her from getting over being sick, me from adjusting to a new time zone after a weird night of sleep). I fell asleep with my face in a book at an hour so early it would have gotten me wedgied at overnight camp.
Today I awoke and went for a 5-mile run. Then my mother drove me (sigh) to Wegmans for lunch. It’s as good as I remember. Guys, I think I’ve decided that Wegmans is the greatest place on earth. There is no supermarket I’ve ever been to that can compare with it, and the marketplace/cafe is unparalleled. Ian will argue that Whole Foods is better, but I think by default the Whole Foods commitment to organic and natural products hinders the quality of the food. Listen, sometimes you just want a chicken finger sando on processed white bread, and it’s the greatest thing on earth. I was shocked — just shocked — to learn that the old school soda fountains at Wegmans were replaced with new futuristic touch-screen soda fountains offering dozens of flavors of soda. I’m not even a soda drinker anymore and I had to buy a combo meal just to enjoy a fresh Vanilla Coke.
The chocolate chip cookie was disappointing this time, that’s my only complaint.
After returning home — oh, wait, there was something in between — my mom had to go pick up some neighbor’s kid at the high school. A fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl. I tried my best not to make eye contact with her. Seeing my old high school again was weird. The students looks so small and gawky. They all have bad skin.
Later mom had to go for some medical tests, so I stayed at home and read. Are you sensing a theme here? Yeah, me too. Dinner was at a Mexican joint she likes. My enchilada came topped with no less than three pounds of what appeared to be Subway’s “Chipotle Southwest” sauce. Once dredged up from beneath the suffocating sea of sauce the enchilada was pretty good.
Now I guess my sister is taking me to a local bar. I think it’s beer pong night. Ah, life in suburban New Jersey.
Michael Hurley – When I Get Back Home [MP3]
