Well, well, well…it appears as if British magazine Sight & Sound has published its newest list of the greatest films of all time. And, surprisingly, Vertigo has overtaken Citizen Kane as the top-voted film. Pretty impressive, huh? Why don’t you bust out that fast-fact on your big date Friday night? I’m sure it’ll help you ease your way into a friendly debate about the merits of the two films and which one deserves the top spot. Play your cards right and citing the Sight & Sound article might just score you a second date. As for getting laid — what are you, kidding me? Guys who talk about movies on dates never get laid. Stick to asking her questions about her life and pretend to be interested in whatever she has to say. That’s the real way to win a girl’s favor.
Note: I’m now referring to vaginas as favors. Try to keep up with my repurposing of the English language.
The “Critics’ Top 10 Films Of All Time” list for 2012 is, in descending order, 8 1/2, The Passion Of Joan Of Arc, Man With A Movie Camera, The Searchers, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans, La Regle du jeu, Tokyo Story, Citizen Kane, Vertigo. A quick look at the BFI’s just-released list of the Top 50 Greatest Films of All Time shows that The Godfather slipped from #4 all the way to #21 on this list (TMC and AMC *have* been airing it lot lately!), and Mullholland Drive (#28) is the highest-ranked, most-recent film on the list.
Sight & Sound also asked a number of directors to vote on a list of the Top 10 Films of All Time, and that list (in defending order!) went like this: Bicycle Thieves, Mirror, Vertigo (tie), The Godfather (tie), Apocalypse Now, Taxi Driver, 8 1/2, Citizen Kane (tie), 2001: A Space Odyssey (tie), Tokyo Story. So I guess if you average the two, Citizen Kane is still number one? Tokyo Story is a close second, though, and Vertigo…apparently it’s not that important a film in the eyes/minds of a few directors!
What’s with The Searchers always making these lists? I mean…really? There’s a reason The Western isn’t a common film genre anymore. Now we have western-ish mashups like Kill Bill and Cowboys & Aliens. I’ve seen The Searchers a few times, but it’d never make my list of the Top 10 movies of all time. “Epic revenge story?” Yeah, have you seen Oldboy? That’s the most epic revenge story I’ve ever seen! Also, I’m sorry, but 8 1/2 wouldn’t make that list either. Hell, even when it comes to Alfred Hitchcock I’d watch Strangers On A Train, North By Northwest, Rear Window or Rope before I watch Vertigo. Just like I’d prefer to see The Magnificent Ambersons than Citizen Kane.
You want a real top ten? Just ask me. I’m barely a film buff!
10. La Dolce Vita
09. The Magnificent Ambersons
08. The Graduate
07. Taxi Driver
06. Rear Window
05. Dr. Strangelove
04. 2001: A Space Odyssey
03. Seven Samurai
02. The Godfather
01. Apocalypse Now
Or, if you really want to get creative, here’s my fake Top 10
10. Inside
09. Audition
08. Oldboy
07. A Serbian Film
06. The Skin I Live In
05. Irreversible
04. Flower Of Flesh And Blood
03. Martyrs
02. Human Centipede
01. Salo
There ya go guys. I’m gonna go eat a burger.
Eric Whitacre – Goodnight Moon [MP3]
