Over the course of the last month I’ve examined both the ten “douchiest” bars in LA as well as the ten that have fallen furthest downhill since my arrival in this city. It’s only fair that I focus my attention on some bright spots in this city. For all the cringeworthy watering holes in town, there are still a lot of great places to imbibe. For every Harvard & Stone (and really, nothing can touch that place in terms of horribleness) there’s a Roger Room. For every Cabo Cantina there’s an El Conquistador or El Carmen. For privacy reasons I’m going to leave a couple of my favorite bars off this list, because I don’t need any of you assholes stalking me at my usual haunts. So while this is not the definitive list of my ten favorite bars in LA, it’s as close as you can get without my having to worry about some psycho (because, really, are any of you reading this website regularly not crazed psychopaths?) approaching me whenever I’m out on the town.
Ten Great Los Angeles Bars
Honorable Mention: Blue Palms Brewhouse – It’s a damned shame that the problems with ownership at the Music Box spilled over into Blue Palms, forcing their closure during the first week of February. This was one of the best unpretentious bars in the city, they served slightly better than average food, and their Tuesday $4 pint night was one of the best beer deals in the entire city. They tapped new kegs every day, their website was updated almost simultaneously with the electronic “big board” over the bar to let you know what was available and what was not. The shuffle puck table provided many, many hours of enjoyment. The fact that I had two friends who worked at The Box who I could meet for a drink didn’t hurt, either. Hopefully they’ll open again soon…
10. Tony’s Darts Away – Alright, technically it’s in Burbank, but who cares? For all the crap I’ve given Mohawk Bend about their disappointing food and strict adherence to the locally sourced beer selection (you have seventy taps and you think that 5 rotating out-of-state taps each month is enough to satiate all beer connoisseurs), Tony’s is still great. The beer selection is similarly Left Coast-centric, but the prices are fair and the menu is ten times better. The build-your-own sausage option is fun, and the disco fries — while not being as good as Jersey diner fare — are a good enough effort that I will vehemently support them.
09. Timmy Nolan’s – As someone who prefers alehouses where you can relax and enjoy your booze, it should come as no surprise that I like Timmy’s. The beer selection isn’t outstanding, but they’ve got some good imports and a variety that I can shift from stout to porter to IPA without feeling like I’m confined to certain styles of beer (like so many bars who push IPAs and ignore stouts). The menu is definitely solid, the wee bites work if you’re not hungry but there’s a full menu if you desire burgers, pasta, sandwiches or more. It’s in a decent area, too, so you can hop around and hit Lucy’s (which, by the way, when did that turn into creepy date rape-y room?) and Sardo’s.
08. The Verdugo – If you’re a beer lover, it doesn’t get much better than the Verdugo. Right now their taps include Pliny the Elder, Oskar Blues Diviant Dale’s, Rogue Shakespeare Stout, Old Rasputin, Rogue John John Hazel Nut, Maui Coconut Porter, White Rascal, Alesmith Speedway Stout, Eagle Rock Manifesto, New Belgium Le Folie, Dogfish Head Ta Henket and Allegash Odyssey. I can’t drink here too often because there’s always so much to try I end up drinking myself into a stupor. They’ve also usually got some food trucks around to dish up quality food while you’re steadily growing drunker. Grill ‘Em All used to be a regular staple, and in the near future you can catch El Burger Luchador, Rounds Premium Bugers, Spice Island, and Grill Sergeant.
07. The Dresden Room – When we used to play weekly pub trivia at 1739 Public House (one of the worst bars I’ve ever been to in any city in the world) we’d always stop here afterwards for a few drinks. We’d do just about anything to get the taste of Public House out of our mouths. It always helped that on Wednesdays Marty and Elayne are around to provide some live music. They play Tuesdays through Saturdays at 9pm, by the way, and whether you’re new to the city or a lifer who has never seen them live, it’s your business to do so at least once. The drinks are solid, the clientele is typically young and attractive, if you’re into celebrity sightings this isn’t a bad place to spot some, and I’ve never not had a good time here. Plus, escargots on the menu! HA!
06. Golden Gopher – How many times have I done the downtown circuit, from Library Bar to Casey’s to Seven Grand to Golden Gopher? I don’t know, too many to count. The Gopher touts a solid juke box, a smoking patio (if that’s your thing — it’s not mine), and even when it’s packed it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. The crowd is usually easygoing, the drinks are fairly priced, and with so many cool bars in the neighborhood, it’s location is optimal. Need I say more? No? Good. Moving on…
05. Bigfoot Lodge – This is one of the only bars in all of Los Angeles where I feel comfortable singing karaoke. Please don’t show up on a Monday night just to laugh or hurl a bottle of beer at me. That would hurt. Especially if you hit me in the face. They also have a pub trivia night (Wednesdays, I believe?), but it isn’t well organized and the questions aren’t challenging. It’s an unassuming, dimly lit lounge. The decor is fun (you’re in a log cabin! Whee!). They don’t boast crazy beer or alcohol selections, but there are a few signature drinks. And there’s that karaoke night. It’s not full of annoying theater kids or wannabe rockstars. Well…I guess whenever you host a karaoke night some portion of the patrons are going to take it to seriously. I didn’t say this place was perfect. It’s just a really cool, solid bar.
04. The Well – I’ve been drinking here a lot lately. It’s a solid place to bring a date after a dinner in Hollywood because it’s dark and they’ve got a wide variety of alcohol to help make you tipsy enough so your first kiss won’t be awkward. It belongs to the same family of bars as El Bar, the Parlour Room and No Bar, but I think The Well stands alone as the best of the group. Finger foods are also always available. I think Tuesdays are burger night. It used to be grilled cheese night, but I don’t know if they’ve moved that to another night or done away with it. Prices are solid, it’s almost always empty when I go there, and there are plenty of little nooks and booths to keep you somewhat invisible from the rest of the crowd. As a whiskey lover, I can’t begin to describe how excited I was when I saw they offered Elmer T. Lee’s. The cheap wine isn’t so good, but that’s about the only negative thing I can say about The Well.
03. Surly Goat – Like the Verdugo, Surly Goat is a beer-lover’s dream. Right now on tap they’re offering Stone Old Guardian, Pliny The Elder, Ladyface La Trappistine, Ballast Point Oktoberfest (in March!?), Moylans Hop Craic, Lost Coast Winter Porter, Lagunitas Cappucino Stout New Belgium La Folie, Eagle Rock Vanilla Solidarity and Great Divide Hoss. They’ve got shuffle puck, foosball, and a couple vintage arcade games I’ve never taken the time to look at. For all I know they’ve got Street Fighter II and I’m missing out. The smoking patio is actually one of the more social patios in town. I went from introduction to bed with a total stranger after ten minutes of conversation on that patio the last time I was there. Much like The Verdugo, the wide variety and high quality beers means I have to be really careful how much I drink whenever I come here. Drawbacks? It can get crowded with yuppy-leaning West Siders, and there aren’t enough seats outside of the patio if you like to sit back and relax with your drinking buddies.
02. Seven Grand – Numbers one and two on this list are a virtual toss-up. I could present an equal number of pros and cons for each place, so think of this more as 1 and 1A, as both bars are interchangeable, and my absolutely favorite changes pretty much whenever I’m present at one or the other. Seven Grand, of course, is the greatest whiskey bar I’ve ever frequented. Seriously, look at this fucking Whiskey menu. You can taste anything on it, usually for a third of the price, which is the only way I’ve been able to introduce friends to Pappy 23-year and Middleton Very Rare without having to empty the contents of my wallet onto the bar. Just trying to work my way through the small batch bourbons has proven to be a life-altering experience. I’ve found so many great distilleries due to this place. I’ve also got a great Christmas Eve memory of Seven Grand. The owner, who was drinking by himself on the patio in a nearly desolate bar, couldn’t contain his smile when he saw me in the mouse costume. He made me pose for a picture so he could send it to his wife with a note about how I was the reason he had chosen to stay open that night. I was proud I could bring a smile to his face, as every new whiskey I try here seems to bring a smile to my face. Awesome.
01. Tiki-Ti – It’s hard not to smile whenever you’re here. Sure, it’s annoying if you have to wait in line to get in, but you have to learn the times to go when there’s no line! This is probably one of the friendliest bars in the city, too. Since it’s so small (are there more than a dozen seats?) it feels like everyone is there together, chatting, laughing, tasting one another’s drinks, chanting “Toro!” and borrowing cash because it’s a cash only bar…really, does anybody ever forget the first time they order a Blood & Sand? I don’t think a scientific study has ever been performed, but I think they serve the strongest drinks in the city. Even if the prices are a little stiff (what do they range, from $8 to $20?), there are 92 options on the menu, so you can almost drink here once a week for two years with ordering the same thing twice. It’s unpretentious, the crowd is always cool, and those strong drinks…put it all together and you get what is definitely one of my favorite bars in Los Angeles.
Rex – Jet [MP3]
