Shame on you if you live in Los Angeles and you did not take advantage of “Burger Week” at the Oinkster. Unless you exist in a world that is entirely devoid of culture you had to have heard about it. All you had to do was click onto a blog, pick up a copy of a local weekly paper, or have a conversation with a friend. You have at least one friend, right? And that friend…you know…knows what’s going on in LA outside of the nightclub circuit? Literally “Burger Week” was everywhere you looked this week. You have no reason not to know all about it, and you really did miss out if you did not taste the fruit (or should I say protein?) of its metaphoric loins.
All this week, The Oinkster (2005 Colorado Blvd, Eagle Rock) has been preparing daily specialty hamburgers in celebration of America’s favorite sandwich. This week’s schedule has paid homage to both local and national favorites, each of which has been re-imagined and recreated with some unique twists. All told there were six sandwiches involved in Burger Week. I had the pleasure of consuming 4 of the 6 burgers (wait…I’ll explain). Some were better than others. Sounds awesome, right? Seriously, this was a must-eat event for anyone who enjoys burgers.
Monday: The Big Mac ($6.50) – You guessed it, “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and a sesame seed done Oinkster style.” Although both my roommates went Monday night I did not attend the opening. Lines were supposedly out the door for well over an hour after they showed up, and both indicated that the offering was good, but not great. Why wasn’t I there for the big kick off? Easy — I’ve never eaten a Big Mac before. What basis for comparison would I have? I was a little bummed that The Oinkster started Burger Week by paying homage to a McDonald’s burger. I say start off by doing something ballsy. Make your version of the In-N-Out burger.
Tuesday: The Tommy Burger ($7.50) – “The Chili Burger made famous by Tommy Koulax in 1946. They say, ‘Many imitate, but none compare.'” I thought this was a really good variation on the theme. I could have gone for a touch more chili (oh my God do I love chili) but at that point it might have been overkill. All the ingredients came together well. The patty was well-seasoned, flavorful and juicy. The bun held up really well under the volume of toppings. You would never catch me putting mustard on a hamburger (or anything, really) but its pungency was a welcome surprise here.
Wednesday: The Father’s Office Burger ($8.50) – “Caramelized onion, applewood bacon, gruyere cheese, maytag blue cheese and arugula with The Oinkster’s twist.” Count me among a small but very loyal — and vocal — segment of the LA population which dislikes the Father’s Office burger. From the terrible choice of bun to the confounding ingredients (caramelized onions and blue cheese are a acceptable toppings, but are ruinous as a tag-team on the FO burger) it has become an albatross about the neck of LA’s burger scene. So how did the Oinkster’s interpretation fare? Well, it reminded why I don’t like the Father’s Office burger (those onions, that blue cheese). But they got one thing right: the bun. So much better than the original. Thanks for sparing us from that travesty, Oinkster!
Thursday: Grill ‘Em All ($ TBD) – “‘Two dudes, a truck and a megaphone’ will be in house for this very special event. Chef Ryan Harkins and Matthew Chernus will work our line from 8 p.m. to 10 pm. for a special dinner service serving only Grill ‘Em All burgers.” I skipped Thursday night because if I want a Grill ‘Em All burger I can just find the truck and get my fix. They ended up serving the Behemoth, Waste ‘Em All, Witte, Blue Cheer, Hannah Montana, and Dee Synder burgers on Thursday. Plus the “Oink ‘Em All” special with Oinkster pastrami on it. I would have gone for that one had I went, as I think the Oinkster’s pastrami is fantastic. Although I’d fear its rich flavor might dwarf the beef. I always thought the Dee Snyder was a gross idea (peanut butter, jelly, bacon, sriracha) but that’s just because I don’t like jelly. Peanut butter burgers can be fantastic, especially with the addition of bacon. Not as good as a legit Midwestern butter burger, but damned close. Peanut butter is always an option on menus at The Counter and Slater’s, but Biergarten on Western serves up peanut butter burgers too . Try one sometime.
Friday: The Umami Burger ($9.50) – “Made with dry aged Kobe beef, oven roasted tomatoes, caramelized onions, Parmesan frico, sauteed shitake mushrooms and house-made ketchup. ‘The Fifth Taste’ will be revamped a la Oinkster.” I was really looking forward to this, but I was disappointed with the execution. The oven-roasted tomatoes were fantastic (I find these to be the best aspect of the standard Umami Burger as well). The caramelized onions were barely there. The Parmesan frico was soggy and its flavor muted. The mushrooms were way too strong and numerous, and thus they ruined the burger for me. Sadly, the Oinkster’s Umami burger tasted like no more than a standard mushroom burger the likes of which one could find at any greasy burger stand where toppings are piled high in the name of gluttony.
Saturday: The Twenty-Five Dollar Burger ($9.50) – “Dry aged Kobe beef, Porcini/white mushrooms sautéed with shallots, cream, grated Parmesan. Cambozola cheese, Arugula, Truffle aioli, crispy onions, on a French Burger Bun.” Couldn’t get any hint of the grated Parmesan or Cambozola cheese (which is a shame, BoHo uses Cambozola on their burger and it can really work well with the right beef). The truffle aioli was nice, once again the mushrooms were a little bit too overpowering. More so than any other burger served at The Oinkster this week, the Twenty-Five Dollar Burger really seemed to showcase the dry-aged beef. This was the best tasting patty I had all week as well as the closest to medium rare that I ordered. Coincidence? I think not. The crispy onions were a nice touch texturally, and the bun was one of the better ones used during Burger Week. All-in-all I considered this, or maybe the Tommy’s burger, to be my favorite of the week.
I guess you could say I ate a lot of burgers this week. Even though I didn’t hit up the Oinkster on Monday or Thursday I still managed consumed both a turkey burger (via my new griddle on Monday) and In-N-Out (with Ben and Nate on Thursday) to complete my weeklong burger odyssey. Right now you’re probably asking, “How many calories did you consume this week?” I couldn’t really tell you, I’m still kind of in awe of the fact that I managed to lose three pounds this since last Sunday. So to answer your question, “I don’t know, ask my tape worm.”
