Thanks to everyone who has commented on and shared the link to that White Stripes post I made yesterday. I’m happy it created some dialog, and I’m even happier it wasn’t perceived as being a take-down piece slamming the band for sucking. I don’t think the White Stripes suck, I just don’t see why it’s big news they have called it quits. It’s hard to be moved by a band quitting when you don’t quite understand their appeal.
Yesterday’s post and its responses have inspired me. What bands other than the White Stripes have achieved great notoriety while eclipsing my radar? What bands are immensely popular without my having heard even one song from their catalog? Or, what bands have I heard a song or two by, passed over, and later found out to be insanely popular? Why do people get this look on their face when I say I haven’t heard of a band I clearly should know? Why am I called a liar when I admit to not knowing much about some band? In short, what are the top ten bands I just don’t understand?
The Top Ten Bands I Don’t Understand
10. No Age – I suppose I should be ashamed of this because I live in Los Angeles and I’m pretty good at keeping up with what’s going on in the area — or at least I was when I first moved out here. Still, I’m 99% sure I’ve never heard a No Age song (unless there’s been one on a movie or TV commercial and I simply didn’t know it). After I typed that last sentence I had to check to make sure I didn’t listen to them for my Coachella post last week. The only reference to them on this site is from 2009 when I was making fun of bands at ATP. I described No Age as “the Interpol of this year” and then spent the rest of the paragraph mocking Bob Mould for sounding like Tom Hanks. I guess they’re better than Interpol if they’re still popular, but then again I don’t even know if they’re still popular. Are they? What am I missing?
09. Fleet Foxes – Never heard a song by these guys. Heard second-hand that it’s acoustic with harmonies? Or am I thinking of Bon Iver? Or am I thinking of something else? I can’t really be bothered to listen if it’s doesn’t sound like Elliott Smith or Mark Lanegan. If there’s more than one man in a band and the main instrument is an acoustic guitar you will find me about as far away from that group as I could possibly get. Furthermore, I don’t understand why anyone would want to listen to a band who describes its music (according to Wikipedia) as “baroque harmonic pop jams.” That sounds like the Bee Gees. Why do people like this stuff?
08. LCD Soundsystem – I got their first record because one of my friends told me to. Was it Ian? I don’t know if he liked that music. It was someone. I bought the LP at Princeton Record Exchange for $5.99 and listened to it once or twice. There was one good song on it (the one about “Trials And Tribulations”) but otherwise it was not my cup of tea. And yet everybody loves LCD Soundsystem. Why? Did the obese guy buy a Travis Bean and surround himself with a brutal rhythm section? Do they sound like Tar?
07. The Fiery Furnaces – Andy told me to at least a year ago that I needed to give these guys a chance. I’ve read a lot about them for a long time (a brother and a sister, right? they’ve been doing their thing for almost a decade?) but never bothered to listen. I feel like maybe I downloaded the album with the blue cover on Soulseek when I was in college and couldn’t get passed the girl’s voice, but that could have just as easily been a Joanna Newsom record or Cat Power or something. I guess I just don’t understand it. And if all this stuff about non-linear concept albums is any indication, I’m pretty sure I won’t understand it after I hear it, too.
06. The National – When I was submitting weekly charts to The Tripwire a few years ago I was always shocked that the same band held onto the top chart position every single week: The National. All the other blogs who submitted data to the Tripwire were absolutely apeshit for that band. Never bothered to listen. From what I read it’s mopey uplifting (how is that possible?) rock music played and sung by dudes pushing 40. I don’t get it.
05. Deerhunter – I feel like Ian and Jon and a few other people have all tried to convince me to give Deerhunter a chance, but I never bothered to when they were getting a lot of press a few years ago and care even less about it now that I haven’t had to read about them for some time. Someone even sent me the album but I never got all the way through it. It was just too boring. I want to like every album Kranky releases but I guess that’s not the case. So, yeah. I don’t understand this band.
04. Spoon – I find this particularly hilarious because when I was writing my travel book I just missed meeting with someone from Spoon when I was in Austin, and I scheduled an interview without having ever heard a song by the band. I just knew that they were really popular and I should probably do my best to get in touch when I was in town. Five years later I still haven’t ever consciously heard a song by Spoon. I even purchased two Spoon records and a couple 7″ singles from an old roommate who was moving and didn’t want to bring his LP collection with him. Even then I never listened to the albums. I just turned around and sold them. Everything I read about the band made it sound like it wasn’t my cup of tea so I never bothered.
03. Grizzly Bear – Before I moved to LA I was walking down a street in Brooklyn and a friend pointed across the way and said, “Oh, look. There’s Grizzly Bear.” I had no idea what he was talking about. Maybe he was making a joke because everyone in Brooklyn looks like they’re in an “indie” band. Whatever, the point is, I didn’t know who Grizzly Bear was then and I still don’t know enough to say I could pick these guys out of a lineup. For all I know Sebastian has played this record a million times at work and I have just glossed over it. Now that I’m looking at their Wikipedia page I see why: the band members are credited with “omnichord, banjo, glockenspiel…” this sounds like nothing I care to hear. Unless it sounds like Tower Recordings. But I’m sure it doesn’t.
02. New Pornographers – Survived for quite some time having never heard a New Pornographers song, and then within the span of a year I heard the same damn record a dozen times at work. Now I can’t stand this crap and long for the days when I was woefully ignorant. From now on I’m going to have to fight to ignore it. What the hell is the deal with this stuff? Each song feels more composed and affected and predictable than the last. Plus the production is all weird. It hurts my ears. Yeah, I said it. A New Pornographers record hurts my ears and Harvey Milk doesn’t. Oh, and that Destroyer guy. Ugh. The worst. I don’t get it.
01. Wilco – I went a really long time without listening to Wilco. In fact, the first time I heard any of the music was when Tom Scharpling did one of his famous “unfair record reviews,” and skewered A Ghost Is Born. Later on I was crushing on a girl who loved Wilco, so I watched that documentary about the band and the singer actually made my blood boil. What an asshole! I was so angered by that film I told the girl — even though she had no interest in me — that we could never be together because she respected that guy. It was kind of funny, actually, now that I think about it. I had no right saying that to her. But the point is, I really, really don’t understand Wilco, or anyone’s fascination/respect for Wilco. Shockingly bad lyrics, music that too-closely mimics its influences, and the worst kind of dick as a frontman. No thanks. Don’t understand it. Don’t want to.
[Image courtesy of Clevescene]
