When my mother is in town, I don’t have to starve myself. In fact, I eat very well when she is around to foot the bill. And I don’t have to feel bad about requesting dinners at slightly higher-end eateries. This, I believe, is what makes me such a distinguished gourmand. That and my inability to discern flavors or describe the food I’m eating. Yes, that is very distinguished of me. It is distinguished in the same way as a child who might have a mental or physical disability is a conspicuous entity in a normal classroom. In other words, I’m retarded!
Alas, I am the kind of retard who possesses a one track mind. My thirst for the best burger in Los Angeles continues to go unquenched. So, tonight my mother, Nicci and I went to the Foundry on Melrose. LAist hails it the premiere gourmet burger in Los Angeles, Serious Eats calls it “Damned good but not great.” And since Swan Fungus has the clout of neither publication, no one will care that I’ve taken it upon myself to decide once and for all how good the Foundry’s “Patio Season Burger” is.
Arrived fashionably late at the restaurant (fifteen minutes post-reservation time, but at least I called to warn them traffic was bad) to be greeted by chef Greenspan. “The rest of the LeVine party is here,” he exclaimed. A very tall hostess showed us to our table on the back patio.
The four of us were seated and within moments a server stopped by to deliver the first of three complimentary amuse-bouches. My idea of the perfect amuse is a semen-covered cookie shoved into the mouth of Gail Simmons. The Foundry offered us a tiny bite of bread, tomato and a sprinkling of cheese that tasted like the smallest pizza bite ever constructed, a miniature biscuit with sweet butter, and four pieces of homemade focaccia served with a smoky balsamic dipping sauce.
We ordered the Foundry Tots as an appetizer, which are served with a violet mustard and cheese fondue dip. The tots were outstanding. Way better than the grocery store fare I deep fry at home. Instead of that course smashed potato inside these were velvety, creamy and smooth as hell. I don’t know if the potato was mixed with heavy cream, butter, lard or what…but they were ridiculous. The pillowy-soft potato was surrounded by a great crunchy exterior. Cornmeal, maybe? I don’t know. It wasn’t quite like a corndog but it wasn’t just dropped into the fryer. It was definitely battered with something. Normally I despise mustard, and violet mustard sounded abysmal, but this one — with a brilliant hit of cinnamon — was out of this world. I much preferred it to the cheese sauce.
The Foundry offers middle courses to satiate your post-appetizer pre-main course hunger. We ordered the grilled cheese with taleggio cheese, apricot/caper puree and short ribs on walnut bread. The menu said raisin bread, but the server said otherwise. Either way, it was great. In a way, grilled cheese has become the new hamburger. Restaurants offer daily unique grilled cheese creations all over Los Angeles, there’s a food truck devoted to it, and even finer-dining establishments are adding variations to their menus. A few blocks down the street 8oz. Burger Bar has a short rib grilled cheese that I’ve consumed before. Their rendition simply cannot compare to the one served at the Foundry.
Alas, this review isn’t about an amuse-bouche, tots, or grilled cheese. It’s about the fucking burger. Served open-face and topped with a thin slice of cheddar, confit tomatoes, arugula and cornichons, it is plated with three onion rings (divine!) and three toppings/sides (house-made mayo, pineapple bacon relish and onion tapenade). The standard temperature is medium, but I requested mine medium rare. It came out much closer to medium, but at the end of the day I don’t care that much.
I elected to eat the burger without adding any of the sides. I was very, very impressed. With each bite, more succulent juices oozed out of the patty. The Hawaiian roll bun added a touch of sweetness that balanced the sour cornichons, the confit tomatoes and flavorful patty. The char on the outside of the meat is splendid, as good a char as I’ve ever tasted, adding great texture, crunch and flavor. It is a harmonious, delicious burger.
Now, that said, is it the best in LA? Sadly, the answer would be “No.” It’s better than 90 or 95% of those I’ve sampled to date, but at the moment I am not comfortable calling it the best. You’ll have to wait for my final draft of the best burgers list I am preparing to see how it stacks up against LA’s toughest competitors.
Chef Greenspan was there again to escort the three of us to the door as we left his restaurant, inquiring about the quality of our meal and reminding us — with that trademark chuckle of his — to stay safe. “It’s a wild world out there.” If only he really knew how wild it is in my world.
And now it’s off to Barbarella in Silver Lake for Louise‘s birthday celebration. Happy (belated) birthday, Louise!
