Jesus. I have to post my list of the top 100 albums of 2010 on Friday and I haven’t even really started yet. I guess I’m just waiting for the day when computers become self-aware and start to think and act for themselves. Maybe then Swan Fungus will learn how to write its own lists, and I can just sit back and drink bourbon and hang out while the website maintains itself. Or maybe I should just shut the fuck up and get to work, because I do not want to spend New Years Eve or New Years Day blogging.
So…I really need to get started on this list. Instead of blogging about something interesting or informative (or about how excited I am to see Gail Simmons’ tits on Top Chef tonight), I’m going to take a few moments to thank some people for making 2010 a good year for Swan Fungus.
Sam – You remember Sam, right? He contributed the “Cruising At Red Robin” a few years ago. He’s one of the best writers I know, and now he’s started his own black, called Black Candle Magik. He and his wife Lindsey are two friend I can count on whenever I travel back east to show me a good time, even if it’s just for an hour or two. They certainly helped make my last trip home a memorable one. Good luck with the blog in 2011, Sam!
Stephen in Japan – Super Fan, Reader Zero, whatever I decide to christen you next, you are the coolest reader I have. Your donations help keep this page alive (and help me get ossified drunk), and your musical taste is fantastic. You’re also the voice of reason in many a comment section. Thanks for everything you’ve done in the past year(s), and I hope you stick around through 2011.
Advertisers – Thanks for not pulling the plug on a single campaign this year, even though I don’t write the most advertiser-friendly blog entries. I loved the fact that a ticketing company paid me to show a Cocorosie ad as I was writing shit about Cocorosie. Brilliant.
The Frisky – You took a lot of shit from me this year, ladies. Your website has saved my own many times when I couldn’t think of anything better to write about. You also invited me to a party in New York with an open bar where I drank too much and nearly missed my stop on the train ride home. Oh yeah, and you paid me to write an article for your magazine. After all that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I look forward to working with you more next year.
Michael from Brooklyn – Ordinarily when someone approaches me and references my blog, I assume that person is brandishing some kind of weapon and they’re looking to stab me in the eye. You, on the other hand, admitted to being a fan. So I invited you out for drinks and we got shit-faced together. Thanks for that whiskey shot, it totally pushed me over the edge into the dark place. I have no idea how you biked home after that, but you definitely earned my respect that night. See you next time I’m in New York.
Gail Simmons – I just want to say Gail, I know I didn’t write about you as much in 2010 as I have in previous years. But I joined Twitter and I tweeted at you as much as I could. You never responded. I looked for you all week when I was in New York and you never showed your face. You know we’re going to meet one of these days, so you might as well prepare yourself for the awkwardness by getting it over with sooner rather than later. Just acknowledge my existence, acknowledge my crush on you — my lust for your tits, my desire to get lost in your weird, alien eyes — and let me know that you know I’m here. Otherwise you’re just going to have to deal with more unwanted advances.
Nicci – Thanks for putting up with adventures in dating stories, comments about Gail Simmons and other celebrity crushes, and the general woman-hating tone of my blog. Also, thanks for teaching me how to eat like a normal human being and fool people into thinking I know a thing or two about food. You’re a stand-up girl, and I love you. You’d just better hope Gail Simmons doesn’t come to her senses in 2011.
The Rest Of You – Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for comments both positive and negative. Thanks for sending me albums you think I need to hear, thanks for acknowledging me on your own blogs, thanks for donations, thanks for beer and whiskey advice, for wearing my face on your chests, for e-mails and positive thoughts on off-days. Thanks for being awesome people. I’m going to reward you all in 2011. Cheers.
