Ah, Friday. For most of you it’s time to relax and enjoy the weekend. For me…my work-week is just beginning. Hopefully you all have fun things planned for yourselves, or else you’re going to be stuck at home reading my rants and feeling like your life has no purpose. Less purpose, even, than my life. Negative purpose.
Here’s the latest Top Ten Google Searches Referring Visitors To Swan Fungus:
10. how you know your life is pathetic
09. urinal cruising – I guess Sam’s guest post is still attracting readers
08. zachery allan starkey – And so it begins…
07. what to do in southern california during hot days – One of my better Top Ten lists.
06. creedence faggot
05. top ten things to own in 2010
04. pictures of a naked blonde bartender getting a 5 some – That’s a bit specific, don’t you think?
03. sex with insects porn
02. prison theme drinks
01. how to get out of gym on your birthday – Uh…
So I’ve been talking to people about the awesome Dogfish Head tasting I attended this week, and it got me thinking — I’m not drinking enough so far this summer. I’m doing enough to satisfy the requirements of my 101/1001 list, but I’m not drinking as many new beers as I should be. It’s summertime! It’s beer weather. Breweries across the country are pushing their summer seasonals. Need some help deciding what to drink when it’s 100 degrees out (like it has been in Los Angeles this week)? Allow me…
The Top Ten Summer Seasonal Beers
10. Magic Hat Wacko – This beer has a horrible reputation. But I have a soft spot for all Magic Hat beers. They were some of the first I ever consumed. All the time I’ve spent in Vermont — and the brewery tours and tastings I participate in each time I return — have really helped refined my palette. Yeah, I know that it’s stupid pink color is off-putting and the beets are a total “what the fuck?” ingredient, but it’s not that bad. Herd mentality has tarnished this beer’s reputation. In a blind taste test, I’m sure it would be worth more than an 18th percentile grade.
09. Brooklyn Summer Ale – It’s a total session beer. It’s not the most out-there or intriguing ale on the list, but it’ll quench your thirst on an unbearably hot day and…I don’t know, I kind of like it! Clear yellow color, orange peel aroma, and super-light bodied. Yum…
08. Stoudt’s Weizen (Stoudt’s Heifer-In-Wheat) – Ian introduced me to Stoudt’s with their delicious Fat Dog Stout back in 2004 or 2005. This small brewery from Pennsylvania would often get overlooked as we shopped for beers in Jersey, but now that I’m out west I miss both the aforementioned stout as well as the brewery’s summer seasonal, Weizen. Let’s face it, it’s not always wise to drink pitch-black, coffe-and-chocolate inflused beers year-round. When it’s gross, and humid, and the sun is bearing down, I want something hazy, maybe a little spicy, with a good sweet/sour flavor. Weizen offers all those things while being quite refreshing.
07. Port Brewing Anniversary Ale – I’m ranking this a bit low because I don’t think it’s officially the brewery’s summer seasonal, but it’s released every year in late spring/early summer, so that’s good enough for me. The past two have been imperial IPAs, which are perfect summer brews as they are packed with citrus hop flavor and a touch of sweetness. 10% ABV? I’d drink ’em all day if I didn’t worry about blacking out…Ah, who am I kidding. So what if I black out?
06. Dogfish Head Festina Peche – I wrote about this beer the other night. This is a neo-Berliner Weisse fermented with peaches. On nights when the heat won’t break and you decide to grill up some chicken or fish and sit outside enjoying the company of good friends, I’d say Festina Peche is about as good a beer as you can find. I know “fruity” beers get a bad rap, but this one is really good.
05. Avery Samael’s – Barley Wine? Summer? Why not! That’s what makes Avery so awesome. Lots of caramel, oak-aged goodness in here. Again, I’m not sure this is technically a summer seasonal but I’ve seen it described as such on a couple of websites so I’m going with it. Hmm…looking back on this list so far I’m not too happy with my choices. It seems like I either don’t care to determine whether or not a beer is really a summer beer, or I’m adding it to the list even though I’m not in love with it. Wow…what the fuck!?
04. Moylan’s Hopsickle – I’ve had this a few times in the past month, and it’s delicious. Another imperial IPA, this is a huge hop explosion (the bottle even says, “Triple Hoppy.” Strong citrus aroma, a semi-sweet flavor with a huge hop finish. It’s as refreshing as you can ask for, and so delicious.
03. Lagunitas Maximus – “At the heigh of the heat in the heart of the summer, we felt that the only cure was a raging mouthful of fresh hops and malt. Caution: May remove the enamel from teeth. This is Lagunitas IPA pumped up by about 30%!” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Another amazing double/imperial IPA. If you’re noticing a theme here, well…there’s a definite theme. Summer is all about refreshing hops bite, and some craft breweries in America are putting forth amazing imperial IPAs of late. I used to be a huge stout head, but I have developed into a hop head more and more each passing year. Lagunitas, you’re doing it right!
02. The Bruery Trade Winds Tripel – I’m beginning to fall in love with this brewery. It started with White Oak, intensified with Melange, and now I’ll drink pretty much any beer of theirs I come across. Clear gold color, vanilla and fruit in the aroma, and a smooth drink with sharp carbonation to offset whatever gross environment in which you’re drinking. Even on a day like yesterday, when the thermostat in my car read 111 degrees, I could sit outside and enjoy one of these. Fuck it, you know?
01. AleSmith YuleSmith (Summer) – 22oz bombers of this are like heaven on an unbearable summer day. I sit there staring at the huge frothy head that never seems to dissipate (and leaves great lacing) and it’s like, “Yup — this is the cure for the heat.” Citrus aroma with some sweet malty notes. The taste is big on citrus as well, with a finely balanced hop/malt ratio. Caramel and some other fruits too. And yeah, there’s some alcohol warmth in there too — but it works. It’s like those people who drink hot tea in India when it’s 130 degrees outside. Sometimes a little warmth actually helps deal with the heat. I don’t quite get it, but whatever. Is it any wonder that AleSmith — one of the finest breweries in the country — provides me with the best summer seasonal beer? Nope. It’s not. Now go buy one and see for yourself.
