Nate and I argue over an advertising campaign, c. 1963
In my never-ending quest to interview everyone I know, I sat down with Nate tonight to talk about his recent good fortune (he won a lot of money at a poker tournament last night). Nate is a good friend of mine. He also happens to be one of Nicci’s roommates. What’s more he’s also the pitcher of our softball team! And of course Nate is always there when I’m out on the town getting drunk. He’s usually drunker than I am, too! Definitely one of the good guys.
Last night Tom, Nicci and I drove to Toluca Lake to hang out with Sebastian and Quiggs and watch LOST. Nate is usually there with us. Except for last night. Nate said, “I have to go win a poker tournament.” I kept texting him to give him LOST updates, and I never heard back from him. This afternoon, I found out why. He had a very lucky (bad) break. Want to know what it was? Read on!
Evan: How are you doing today?
Nate: Pretty good, man. Crazy weekend.
Evan: I can’t believe you backed out of LOST night last night.
Nate: Dude, I…there was a reason for that. Not only do I own Season 3, and I’ve watched all those before, but I also wanted to win money so…it was kind of my night. I was feeling so depressed too. I busted out of the tournament and I was thinking, “I’m broke.”
Evan: Wait — so you busted out of the tournament and then what?
Nate: I started playing a cash game because Shaun was still in the tournament. So, I needed to waste time. And I fucking hate cash games.
Evan: Why?
Nate: Because you get assholes like this fucking Armenian guy who thinks he can keep calling and raising because this money means nothing to me.
Evan: Takes us through that magical hand, why don’t you?
Nate: Oh my god, So…I’m sitting there, I was waiting all night for a legitimate hand, and I got pocket aces. So, I was like, “Holy shit.” I raised eight dollars, and I got five callers. So, I was like, “Fuck.” At that point I had like $20 left so I was pretty sure I was going all-in on the flop no matter what happened. The flop came, and it was 10, 8, 10. So, I was thinking about it for a while, and I thought, “Okay. Someone here has a ten. More power to them,” and I bet out twelve dollars. Then this one guy to the left of me calls and says something about, “We both have a ten?” And I thought, “That’s shady. Shit, does he really have a ten?” And then the Armenian called, and the Armenian guy — he bet like he was playing Black Jack, and he was for all I care — he calls, and what comes on the turn? An ace! So I’ve got aces full of tens. At this point I’m realizing if I get beat I have the jackpot hand. So I check. This other guy bets out, like, I don’t know — it was a low bet, but it was enough to put me all in. The Armenian guy calls because he’s playing Go Fish with us. I immediately put my money all in and call, because I know we’re going to see it. So on the river came an 8. So…now this guy is sitting there looking at the board for way too long, and its at that point I know that he can’t believe what he has, or he knows he has some huge hand. I figure he’s gotta have pocket 10s or pocket 8s. So he bets up $12, trying to keep it low, and the Armenian guy — shockingly — folds his hand. And after he folds his hand I immediately show my hand and say, “Show it! We’ve got that jackpot! Show it! Show it!” And he slowly turned over his pocket 8s. And then we all celebrated. So I lost the $30 I had in that hand, but I got the bad beat jackpot, which was $8,000.
Evan: So, you’re a thousandaire now, Nate. How does it feel?
Nate: I woke up yesterday morning broke. I feel relieved, very relieved. Especially because Christmas is coming up. I have to buy presents.
Evan: Is this win going to affect your softball at all?
Nate: I…can’t really see how it would. It can’t get any worse than it did last Thursday.
Evan: Is there anything else you wanna say? What’s your first big move besides tipping the dealer?
Nate: What’s my first big move besides tipping everybody? Pay off credit cards. Pay off the television. Enjoy the rest.
Not one minute after our interview ended, Nate, his sister, her boyfriend, Nicci and I went out for Mexican food at Casita del Campo. As we were ordering, Nate mentioned that the meal was on him. We didn’t milk him for all he had, either! Nicci and I split an order of tamales. I drank soda all night. Then we played a few rounds of pool. At the end of the night, he kept to his word and footed the bill. That’s the mark of a good friend, I think. Congratulations Nate. You’re no longer a broke piece of shit I pity whenever I see you. Now you’re a guy I kind of respect a little bit!
