In week two of our men’s softball league, Los Nuevos Expos needed to answer some questions in order to find out whether we were going to be contenders for the league championship, or simply pretenders. Could we sustain the high-level offensive output witnessed in week one? Could Nate’s low ERA and solid K:BB rate remain consistent? Would Pat scale more walls in search of that elusive Sportscenter Web Gem? Most importantly, I think, could I prove to be a capable softball player? Well, the answer to some of those questions was a resounding “Yes!” Los Expos won an important, closely-contested game Thursday night, but I am nowhere closer to finding myself on the softball diamond (god, that sounds so gay). Eh, at least I didn’t injure myself this week.
In the top of the first inning, we scored four quick runs against Law Blog’s pitcher. The at-bats were highlighted by a pat double and a mammoth homerun by James that was hit over the left-field “monster” wall. The ball traveled so far that the opposing pitcher asked the umpire to check James’ bat to make sure it met league regulations. I don’t think you can cork a metal bat…whatever. Nate ended the inning for us, leaving me stranded on deck and forced to wait another half inning before learning whether or not I could actually hit a softball. In the bottom of the first inning, Law Blog scored three runs to make the score 4-3.
In the top of the inning, in my first at bat, I grounded out to the pitcher to start the inning. My toe was fine while running to first base, but my quadriceps definitely were not. We ended up going scoreless that inning. I consider it to be my fault for not properly setting the table. Then again, I bat 10th in the order. I think expectations are pretty low when you bat that far down in a lineup. Luckily in the bottom of the 2nd inning the other team was retired without scoring a run. Nate dominated, striking out two of the three batters he faced. One of which was a girl (in a men’s league!) with a smoking hot ass. I don’t think any of us were upset that she was playing. Nate did his job striking her out as well as the batter before her, who I’m pretty sure was drunk. The score stood at 4-3 after two.
To lead off the third inning Pat ripped a double to left field, but after being told to hold up at second base, he was thrown out trying to stretch his hit into a triple. Insert a joke about some famous baseball player only caring about stats here. Although James followed with a shot off the “monster” wall in left-field, we ended up not scoring that inning, either. In the bottom of the inning our opponents scored 3 runs. The third run scores as an older gentleman — much larger than my scrawny ass — collides with me on a play at the plate. As the umpire watched the play unfold he reminded me, “Make sure you’re not in the basepath,” so I moved myself in front of the plate to await the throw. It was slightly off-line, and reaching for the ball brought me back into the baseline and the path of the runner. We stumbled around and neither of us fell or was hit hard. We both apologized and the umpired congratulated us both for handling the collision “like men.” Fuck that, we were now losing 6-4.
In the fourth inning Nate walked to lead off. I grounded out again. Quinn hit a single, then Pat hit a 3-run inside-the-park homerun. A couple runs later, Los Expos were retired after taking an 8-6 lead. In the bottom of the inning, someone on Law Blog hit an inside-the-park homerun into the gape in right-center field. Another run was manufactured, and as we entered the pivotal fifth inning, we were losing 9-8.
Things turned around in the top of the fifth inning. Details are still hazy about how the inning began, but we tied the game and Nate hit into a force-out of Steve at second for our first out. Steve was then elected to pinch-run for Nate. I came up for the second week in a row with an opportunity to give our team the lead. I wasn’t lying when I said those high pressure situations always seem to find me. After taking ball one, I swung with all my might and hit a ball that traveled roughly 2 feet in front of home plate. Realizing the ball hadn’t yet gone foul, I raced towards first base, with chants of “stay fair” and “wait for it to roll foul!” behind me. Eventually the ball stopped rolling. Someone scored. We had the lead, 10-9. Quinn singled up the middle and Steve scored to make it 11-9. Andrew popped out. Pete doubled and I scored from second to make it 12-9. Pat hit his second inside-the-park 3-run homerun to put us safely ahead 15-9.
In the bottom of the 5th, control problems plagued Nate, who had pitched amazingly to that point. After walking a couple batters, he was helped defensively when James made an amazing diving catch short-center field. Sportscenter jingles were loudly exclaimed. Nate gathered his wits and escaped with only two runs home, which made the score 15-11. In the top of the sixth inning, Pat hit another inside-the-park two-run homerun to make it 17-11. All we needed after that was Nate the closer to shut down Law Blog and we would remain undefeated. With calmed nerves and a more Nate-like delivery, he pitched an excellent inning, allowing one measly manufactured run, en route to his second save (of his second win) of the season. Pat had another foul ball hit towards him, and he decided to climb the fence again in an attempt to make a great catch. The ball landed a few feet behind him. Everybody laughed. It turned out his (unnecessary) extra effort could not phase the great pitcher Nate, who retired the last batter to make our latest win official.
Next week is a bye week, and we’ll return to action on the 18th of June against the horribly named Chuck Norris All-Stars. By the way, Los Nuevos Expos are currently the only undefeated team in the league. Everyone else is 1-1 or 0-2. Could this be our year? Stay tuned!
