I really, really hate it when my computer crashes as I’m putting the finishing touches on a blog post. It makes me want to give up and not rewrite the whole fucking thing again. Oh well, I’ll try my best. Apologies if this comes out sounding rushed…
Sometimes I really enjoy having a night to myself. I can sit in bed in my tiny fucking apartment bedroom with the dim light from one shitty lamp turning the walls a sickly yellow color. My fan is in the window blowing cold air inside. I can finally attack the huge stack of records that are waiting to be played and filed into my shelves. The new Harvey Milk record (Life…The Best Game In Town) arrived yesterday, and the new Mono record (Hymn To The Immortal Wind) showed up today. On top of that, I need to listen to what is either a white-label promo or test-pressing of the classic shoegaze album Nowhere by the band Ride, an amazing blues record by Alec Seward (Creeping Blues), and…well…that beautiful mint Oasis record isn’t going to listen to itself, you know! Look, I understand that I have a “problem,” but those first three Oasis records are so good! I can’t help it! They will always have a place in my soft, mushy, vagina-like heart.
Speaking of vinyl, did any of you happen to catch Gizmodo a few weeks ago when they devoted their site to a series of stories about music and technology? They called it Gizmodo’s Listening Test, and all the stories they posted dealt with topics such as technological developments that help us discover new music, a story about the difference between high-end and low-end audio components, mono/stereo debates, audiophile porn (photographs of various systems), how-to articles and more. You can see most of the stories here. Perhaps the most intriguing piece was “Why We Need Audiophiles,” about a man named Michael Fremer.
Fremer is an audiophile. He owns a stereo system that’s more expensive than my college tuition would have been if I decided to attend Bates College ($43,950 per year, the highest tuition in the country) for eight years. He writes reviews for Stereophile magazine. If you believe everything you read in the story, he is a vital asset to the music industry — a necessity even — whose staunch favoritism towards vinyl and analog technology has helped keep the vinyl business alive in an ever-changing marketplace that is now threatening to kill off the compact disc.
Personally, I’m a bit cynical when it comes to audiophile bullshit. I mean, I can tell the difference between a high bitrate MP3 and a low bitrate MP3. I can tell the difference between vinyl and CD. But call me skeptical when I argue the daftness of the idea that one can hear the difference between a $2,600 AC power adapter and a $4,000 one. In fact, I’ve never really considered the possibility of trying to perfect my own stereo system. I can rarely hear the difference between cartridges or turntables, and most receivers sound the same to me. It’s not hard to tell good speakers from bad speakers, but I don’t hate myself for buying cheap Polk speakers instead of one of the vastly more expensive Rega models. I’m happy with the sound, I guess that’s the extent to which I care. I think anything more would make me feel more than a wee bit obsessive.
I appreciate the fact that there are people out there who do care enough to critique all these different pieces of equipment, and to some extent keep the audio component manufacturers and the music industry honest when it comes to their bold claims about sound quality, but it also reminds me of that Scharpling & Wurster routine about audiophiles. If you haven’t heard “Todd And The Audio Guru” (Parts 1 and 2), do yourself a favor and listen to these two exercises in comedy. It’s about an arrogant wannabe audiophile who becomes the disciple of a “guru” who turns him from an “ape eared” listener into a true audiophile. You really have to hear it, as it will provide you with many laughs. The CD on which these two tracks can be found, New Hope For The Ape-Eared, can be purchased from Stereolaffs. Click here to buy! For $9.98 and up, you can order the CD from Amazon.com!
Scharpling & Wurster – Todd And The Audio Guru Pt. 1
Scharpling & Wurster – Todd And The Audio Guru Pt. 2
