I don’t like psychics. I’ve only ever visited with one, and she scared the shit out of me. That was in New York, after my freshman year of college. My mother took my sister and I to see some Broadway show (I don’t remember which one it was), and after a delicious dinner at Patsy’s we still had some time to kill before the theater doors opened. Walking somewhere in the vicinity of 56th and Broadway we saw a sign for a palm reader. I remember the lady bringing us up to her apartment on the second floor. I remember her daughter sitting in the waiting room kicking her feet back and forth excitedly as we decided whether or not my sister or I would go first. Mom decided not to have her palm read, as she had a “thing” about psychics. So it was determined that I would be first. She asked if I wanted one palm read or both. I chose both. I remember her telling me that I wasn’t on the right path, and that I was not doing what I wanted to do with my life (I took this to heart, as I was in the process of transferring schools and changing my concentration). She also told me that my then-relationship was bringing me unpleasantness and told me to end it and focus on myself for a while. Then she said some other creepy stuff about how I need to stop doing what I’m doing and start doing other things, blah blah blah. Before I left she asked if I had any questions. I had one, about my mom…
My sister went next, and she emerged from the room looking completely unfazed. Maybe she faked out the palm reader? I don’t know. I just remember the look on my mom’s face when the lady said, “I need to speak to you in private for a few minutes.” Apparently my sister and I had both voiced concerns about out mother to the lady, and that inspired her to have a chat with mom, free of charge. She exited the room with tears streaming down her cheeks and said, “Let’s go…” I figured at that point I wasn’t really into tarot or palm readings or anything. It didn’t even cross my mind a couple months later when I broke up with my girlfriend that I had basically done what the lady asked.
Nicci wanted me to have my palm read last week. She thought it would be fun, and it would give me something silly to blog about. I told her the story of my last experience and said I wasn’t really that interested in the having my palm read. I didn’t tell her, but I secretly wanted to give it a second chance. I wanted to act as cool and confident as possible in order to see if I could fool her into misreading me. I really did try, but apparently I’m an open-and-shut case in the eyes and minds of palm readers…
We entered the small storefront as the woman was on her telephone. The air was thick with the scent of pot and candle wax. When the psychic disconnected from her phone call, we made small talk. Nicci said I could go first. Just like my sister did seven years ago. I should have known then I was fucked. I tried to play it cool as Nicci went to sit outside on the sidewalk and wait her turn.
The first thing the palm reading showed was that I’m a family-oriented person who always puts friends and loved-ones before my own wants. Truism, of course, but nonetheless unsettling, especially when she added the part about trying really hard to hide that from people. I think normally if you’re called “selfless” by friends, you take it as a compliment. I don’t. I like to act like I don’t give a fuck about people but it does eat me up inside when I either can’t hep a person or do something to please them, even at risk of hurting myself. Oh well. I kept my composure I thought, and figured that she was opening with a vague statement in which anybody could find similarities. Then she said I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do with my life, and the flashbacks started. I think my wall of confidence shattered when she said that. We entered into discussion about jobs vs. careers and hobbies and dreams and shit. It was all too familiar. Outside, Nicci was being accosted by a creepy homeless guy on a bicycle, so the psychic rushed to the door and invited Nicci inside to sit in the back room. She was told to look at the rear wall and not pay attention, or else it would ruin the vibe in the front room.
When she returned, she looked at my hand again and said that I’ve been under an unusual amount of stress for two years, but it is going to come to an end soon. She also said that I will get what I want by the end of this year, or at some point before the end of this year, but now that I know it I need to not have so many “ideas” and let fate steer me towards the realization of that goal. Uneasily, she said I was done, and I went to sit outside in the sunshine while Nicci had her palm read.
Nicci claims that her reading was “bunk” and filled with cliches. Especially the part about how she was not ready to be in love right now, but maybe in September. I latched onto that statement of course. Wouldn’t let it go. Even as Nicci said the psychic was dead wrong about her currently living in a house filled with all girls, and being a naturally mean girl…
Psychics suck.
Killdozer – A Man’s Gotta Be A Man
Harvey Milk – Love Swing
Lee Hazlewood – Look At That Woman
Robert Fripp – Trap
