My goal to try ten new styles of cuisine in 1001 days (which began 01/01/08) is moving along rather well. Already in this half-year I’ve tried Brazilian, Persian, and now African food. This past Saturday Nicci and I ventured to Ngoma (5838 Wilshire Blvd), whose menu features a range of African countries including Cameroon, Kenya, Nigeria, South Africa, Uganda and others. Their website promised good food served in “traditional African ceremonial style,” so we were excited to — actually, I don’t think we knew what to expect. Before leaving for the restaurant, Pat boldly defined African food as “sticks and dirt with a side of AIDS”, so I guess our only hopes were that he would nothave the opportunity to say “told you so”.
The layout of the restaurant was very nice, and the ambiance was both inviting and made for a comfortable dining experience. There were lots of earth tones used in the decor. A woman quickly took our appetizer order (cassava chips), and made sure to ask if we liked spicy food. A few minutes later, she returned with a plate of french fries and a green dipping sauce. I figured “chips” meant some sort of weird grain or bread that could be run through the sauce, so a plate of french fries was a bit off-putting. The Pili Pili sauce was very good, not too spicy and texturally smooth. The fries were a bit salty, which detracted from the flavor of the sauce.
The menu at Ngoma is separated into East and West Africa. Nicci chose the Ugalini Sukuma Wiki from the East-Africa menu, and I chose Mafe from the West-Africa menu. The waitress asked if I wanted mine in a spicy sauce, and I asked for a level of spiciness, to which she responded “very”. She then offered to bring me a small dish of the spicy sauce on the side, so I chose to have my chicken in the milder peanut sauce. The food arrived in good time. The portions were unexpectedly large: a chicken leg and thigh, diced potatoes and steamed carrots, with a side of white rice. The chicken was quite savory and fell off the bone. The peanut sauce was great. I tried my second bite of chicken with the spicy dipping sauce, and instantly recoiled at the flavor. It was way too smokey, and the minute it touched my tongue I felt disgusted by it. Nicci’s plate looked similar, but she had white cornmeal to drag through the sauce and a side of cooked collard greens. I tried her sauce with a pinch of cornmeal, which was tasty, but seemed like it would be much more filling than my side of rice.
We were too full for desert. For an appetizer and two large-portioned main dishes, the meal was relatively cheap. The food and service at Ngoma are both highly recommended by me…someone with a less-than-poor palette and almost no vocabulary for food reviews.
Flore (3818 W. Sunset Blvd)…not so good. I’m really turned off by vegan cuisine, but Nicci has been wanting to try Flore for a few months now so I had to cave eventually. Fawn and Brian used to make better vegan cuisine in our tiny kitchen. Everyone who works there is pasty and unhealthy looking, with sunken jaws and bags under their eyes. It’s hard to sit there and watch them shuffling around without being compelled to stand up and jam a sausage in their mouth. Nicci ordered a club sandwich ($9.95…those vegans sure know how to jack up the price of two pieces of bread covered in green stuff and a fake bacon), and — after struggling to find a single item that looked palatable — I ordered the tacos de papas ($11?). Perhaps the biggest disappointment of the meal was when I hungrily eyed my two potato tacos and asked if they had any hot sauce. The pale, slow-moving waiter returned with a small plastic container of Flore’s homemade hot sauce, which he described as “cayenne powder and vinegar”. Ugh. To their credit, the tacos were pretty good, but they would have been so much better if there had just been a bottle of Cholula on-hand for me to use. And that’s why I can’t stand vegans or vegan food. They’re so pompous. They believe they’re above stocking a fucking condiment because they think they make one that tastes better. Guess what? They can’t make one better. That was the shittiest, least-flavorful hot sauce I’ve ever had. Who the fuck wants to put vinegar on a taco? What a retarded idea. I didn’t care about how Nicci’s sandwich tasted, because there wasn’t real bacon on it, and vegans trying to create fake meats to replicate the tastes and textures of real meats demonstrates the underlying jealousy and inadequacy felt by vegan/vegetarians about their dietary choices. The bearded dude in the “Vegetarianism Is For Lovers” t-shirt? Yeah…I’d hate to love at the pace and/or fervor of a malnourished pussy. Vegetarianism is not for lovers of food. We went to Cold Stone Creamery for dessert because I needed a rich brownie and ice cream to quell my anger and fill my stomach.
