I have a relatively uneventful week ahead of me. On Saturday I finished an exercise I was working on for a potential employer, and now I’m anxiously waiting to find out if my writing about things unrelated to girls and “indie” culture still impresses people with jobs and lives. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything in a tone lacking chastisement.
If you’re of my ilk (unemployed ne’er-do-well), you should take a moment to laugh at this worthless article from the folks at CNN and CareerBuilder. It offers five easy tips for tweaking your resume. I could have used this when I was first building my resume. No one ever offered to help me, so I just went ahead and did the bare minimum. One day last year, I was sitting in the living room of my mother’s apartment with her and my freshly-out-of-work sister. She had uploaded her resume to Monster.com, and within twenty-four hours, her voicemail was filled with calls from recruiters looking to hire her for various positions in different industries. Our mother was very proud. She looked over at me, slunk in a recliner watching TV, the last crumbs of a recently eaten black-and-white cookie still clinging to my t-shirt. “This is too funny!” She exclaimed. “Evan, you should put your resume on Monster.com, too!”
Slowly, I turned my gaze from the television to my mother. Our eyes locked, and her expression changed as she came to understand the scornful look in my eye.
“I did.” I said. “Two years ago.” I returned to the television, turned the volume up several decibels, and the room fell silent.
Hopefully I’ve done something right this time, and I’ll be offered a job.
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Speaking of CNN, it’s time to share more of the iReports I’ve submitted. To this date, none of these gems have been published by the “Leaders In Interactive News,” but I’m not done trying. Not Ever. Click the thumbnails to magically enlarge the pictures.
