Happy New Year to all. I hope everyone had fun last night, whether your went out or stayed home, and that today’s off-day gives you ample time to rest up for the coming work week.
Does anyone out there make resolutions? Is that something in which only young children and the very aged partake? Because I make resolutions, and I’m not ashamed of that. Until maybe this year they haven’t had a shred of seriousness to them. In college I’d resolve to grow an awesome beard, or be as ironic as possible. Not in 2007. Now I’m a geezer, and my resolutions need to actually mean something or else I’ll fall into a pattern of slothfulness and lose any motivation I might have built in recent months. So here are my 2007 resolutions. Feel free to comment on what your own plans for this new year are. Your slate will never be cleaner than it is right now. Well, okay, not right now, but right after you wipe the crusted vomit from your chin or take a shower, you drunk bastard.
1) Get Book Published : This might have been a secret resolution for 2006, but I don’t think I was finished with the book completely until August of ’06, so that didn’t leave much time to make a push to find an agent or a publisher. 2007 will be the year that the book is somehow placed in the hands of those who want to read it, whether it be by finding a small publisher or by doing it myself. I resolve to figure out a way to get it printed and available for consumption.
2) Get Job : As of last week I’m out of a job. There is no more weekly paycheck headed my way, unless you count unemployment as a paycheck. I’m trying to stay optimistic as I search company websites and media-related job sites, but I’m either under-qualified or disinterested in most of what’s available on a given day.
3) Move : Simply put, I’m ready to take up shelter somewhere new. For sundry reasons none of which I care to discuss.
4) Sarcasm-B-Gone : Between bar visits last night, I called my friend Jet and her husband Christopher to wish them a happy and healthy new year. Jet remarked that they had a hard time placing an answering machine message of mine which they had received earlier in the day, due to its complete lack of sarcasm. It was at that moment I announced that 2007 would be the year I took “post-sarcasm” into the public domain. I defined this new cultural phenomenon as, “saying the most brutally honest thing you can think of all the time, completely devoid of irony.”
Mark it down kids, 2007 = the year of post-sarcasm.
