i dozed off during the lecture last night and woke up gnawing on a bloody cuticle.
my friend tells me that a smash hit broadway musical opens with the line, “what to do with a ba in english.” is this true? does anyone care to validate this statement? would you care to state your source for the record?
fifty-eight days remain until i’m a member of the elite fitness club known as “the real world,” where people who go by birth names like “william” and “jonathan” meet at bars after work, unbutton their collars and consume gin-and-tonics. i currently find myself asking a similar question, “what to do with a ba in communications and english?” i guess the obvious choice would be to write something. but then i remember that the publishing industry is like to the music industry in how impossible it is to make a decent living. also you have to get pretty far in order to even meet with publishers. believe me, i’ve tried. not very hard, but i looked at the address on the back of a matt christopher book once so i know they exist.
so unless your name happens to be, oh, i don’t know, tom cruise wolfe, jumping into a career in writing isn’t feasible. only celebrities and good-stock people with “reputations” receive offers like that. that’s why i’ve got to come up with the most absurd book idea possible. something so far out there, when i’m pitching the idea whoever is listening will have to feign a smile and nod at me while they’re still trying to comprehend what i just said. something about college. something young people can relate to. lots of sex. and lots of weirdness. i was thinking about this for a title:
cognitive mapping charts, graphs, and the galaxies’ transient properties inside a vacuum sucking life from the cosmos.
send me your plot ideas. i’ll dedicate the book to you.
the problem i have with books currently on the new york times bestsellers list is, they’re all lame. da vinci code? i thought book enthusiasts were all erudite. can it be that they’re all just stupid? cheeseburger in paradise, jimmy buffet’s book? did he even receive any formal education? don’t answer. these are rhetorical questions.
